Author Archives: maryland



Hallmark Christmas Movies: ‘Guilty Pleasure’ No More

Posted on by
Hallmark Christmas Movies: ‘Guilty Pleasure’ No More
The good-hearted holiday films prove more popular—and more lovable— than we assume. D. L. Mayfield, guest writer(Marcel Williams / Copyright 2015 Crown Media United States, LLC )

It starts with a girl. She’s white, with immaculately curled hair. She is shy/clumsy/uptight, but deep down, she wants to open a bakery/be an artist/follow her dreams.

Then there’s the boy. He’s also white, with perfect teeth and hair like a businessman from the ‘80s. He works too much/doesn’t care about the holidays/needs help raising his kids because his wife recently died.

Maybe the roles are reversed; it doesn’t really matter. The lighthearted conflict between them goes on for 45 minutes to an hour, until they kiss at the end. Cue the music, fade to the credits, and then it starts all over again.

This is the Hallmark Channel’s Countdown to Christmas spectacular, a nonstop lineup of variations on the romantic holiday movie formula. In 2015 alone, Hallmark has released 17 new Christmas-specific movies, adding to their expansive back catalog of made-for-TV films. This year was my first time sitting down to watch their feel-good movie marathon, but the plotlines were familiar to me as an evangelical girl who grew up longing for a safe, happy, magical world where it felt like Christmas every day.

While mainstream culture scorns the romance as lowbrow and naively idealistic, it remains a hugely profitable enterprise thanks to its loyal readers and viewers. Last year, from Halloween to Christmas, Hallmark was the No. 1 channel for women age 25-54, and a single one of their holiday films, Christmas Under Wraps, attracted 5.8 million viewers. (That’s double the viewership of most Real Housewives shows.)

Once-niche “nerd” entertainment gained popular esteem as it proved itself lucrative (think Marvel movies, Star Trek reboots, and the like), but Hallmark Channel-style romance continues to elicit a degree of derision. No one is more acutely aware of the reputation of these sentimental and seasonal romances than the women who adore them. When I asked a few fans why they tuned in, the answers came in sheepish sentiments: I know they are predictable but… they are calming background noise… I just like happy endings… Christmas is a hard time of year, and they make me feel good… I’m probably too idealistic, but they are just so full of warmth….

These caveats offer some protection from judgment and let others know that they are aware of the criticisms of the genre. But perhaps loving the Hallmark Channel at Christmastime isn’t something to apologize for. More broadly, it may be time a shift in our language when we talk about loving something that we know isn’t perfect.

My friend (and Christ and Pop Culture founder) Richard Clark once told me he doesn’t believe in guilty pleasures. Watch what you want to watch, he said. If you truly feel guilty about watching something, maybe you should turn it off. As I read what fans told me about these pleasant movies, chock-full of bland actors and hopeful messages, I realized there is nothing to feel guilty about. They contain nothing morally wrong or hurtful or violent or exploitative. And yet, people (mostly women), still do.

Perhaps our desire for elite taste beyond the Hallmark Channel fare comes out of a sense of pop culture classism. While exploring the enormous popularity of Celine Dion, music writer Carl Wilson presented a theory from sociologist Pierre Bourdieu wherein taste becomes a way “to set ourselves apart from those whose social ranking is beneath us, and to take aim at the social status we feel we deserve.” We see this play out culturally in our sneers directed at Celine, romantic movies, or even the incredibly popular Adele. Anything deemed so accessible by women—women from a wide variety of classes, in particular—automatically becomes an issue of bad taste for those who consider themselves more refined.

This gendered and class-based judgment should distress us as Christians, as people called to break down cultural distinctions and barriers, not create or uphold them (especially when we happen to be on the “winning” or “artistically savvy” side). No one, as far as I can tell, regards the romance genre as a bastion of artistic innovation or importance. But as another music critic, Joel Heng Hartse writes, “What is taste, after all, other than love?” So many people love these movies and find them as hopeful as they are improbable. Perhaps the enormous popularity of romantic holiday movies serves as a reminder of our desire see happy endings played out before us, at least every now and again.

To be honest, the few movies I watched as research for this essay felt only mildly pleasant. I chuckled a little bit. Immersed in a world of few problems and many beautiful people, I felt happy enough when they got together in the end. I will probably watch one or two a year (any more than that and it does start to feel a bit like a money-making cash enterprise, the movies subsisting to sell advertising spots). As the writer and Countdown to Christmas fan Addie Zierman told me:

There's also a little tiny part of me that finds it sort of nice—this idea that somehow during Christmastime people start to see things better. Truer. They let go of old hurts. They forgive their parents. The go home after being away too long. They make peace with their past. Things are made right in the end.

Those desires—to see and experience forgiveness, homecoming, peace, redemption—all stem from deep spiritual needs. And wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t judge people for seeking out those kinds of stories, if instead we strove to find the commonalities of desire that transcend gender, race, and class? Now that would be a Christmas miracle, indeed.

D. L. Mayfield’s writing has appeared in various publications such as CT, McSweeney's, and Image Journal, among others. Her favorite romantic comedy is “The Decoy Bride” starring the magnificent David Tennant. Her book of essays titled Assimilate Or Go Home: Notes From a Failed Missionary on Rediscovering Faith will be out from HarperOne in August 2016. Find her at dlmayfield.com or on Twitter.

 



Five Errors to Drop from Your Christmas Sermon

Posted on by
Five Errors to Drop from Your Christmas Sermon

If you want to help people see Christmas with fresh eyes, start by dropping these familiar fallacies.(Abraham Bloemaert / Wikimedia Commons.The adoration of the Magi)

Pastors, preachers, and Bible teachers: Have you thought about your Christmas sermon or lesson yet? If you want to help people celebrate Christmas this year (and every year) in keeping with established facts—not later legends, traditions, or popular imaginations—start by avoiding these common mistakes.

1. Don’t add details that aren’t in the text.

This might seem obvious but bears repeating because it happens so often. The massive annual proliferation of Christmas cards, nativity scenes, and TV specials perpetuates these added details and gives the impression that they are facts.

The infancy narratives in the Gospels lack many of the details that have been fabricated in subsequent centuries. For example, they don’t tell us about the nature of the stable (cave, open-air, wood, etc.); whether there even was a stable; whether or not there were animals nearby; or the number of wise men. These magoi (not kings and not necessarily three in number) almost certainly didn’t arrive on the night of the birth as most manger scenes depict. And a star wouldn’t have been suspended right above the roofline. With no mention of a stable, the manger could have been in the open air, in an animal pen near the house, in a small cave, or in the area of a house used for animals.

The texts don’t mention Mary and/or Joseph riding on a donkey. It is equally plausible—if not more so—that they walked the entire way from Nazareth to Bethlehem (70–80 miles; at least 3 days of steady walking). The idea of Mary riding a donkey stems from a second-century apocryphal work (Protoevangelium of James, chap. 17). Actually, it wouldn’t have been unreasonable for a pregnant teenager in antiquity with an active lifestyle to walk such a journey.

Despite what we see in some Christmas pageants, there is no mention of an innkeeper (whether mean and coldhearted or regretful for the lack of space available); Luke simply mentions that there was no room in the kataluma (Luke 2:7). The kataluma was not a formal professional inn with an innkeeper but could point to either a public covered shelter (as in the Greek translation of Ex. 4:24) or to the guest room in a personal home (as in Luke 22:11).

It is important for us to stick with established facts when preaching and teaching. There is, of course, nothing wrong with the use of historical imagination. But it is important to maintain a clear distinction between what we actually know happened and imaginative reconstructions of how events might have taken place. Christianity is rooted in historical fact. This is as true for Jesus’ birth as it is true for the crucifixion and resurrection.

2. Don’t supply spiritual explanations for cultural practices to make them sound biblical.

We love to find—or even invent—spiritual reasons for various cultural practices related to Christmas. For example, we give gifts to one other to remind ourselves of God’s great gift of Jesus to the world or of the gifts of the wise men to Jesus. That may sound nice, but is it biblical? Or do we really give gifts because that’s what our parents did and what everyone else we know does (except the Jehovah’s Witnesses, diehard secularists, and some religious purists)? What kind of parent would you be if you didn’t give your child a Christmas present (or, in many cases, a whole roomful of them)? Or, just imagine, if you didn’t celebrate Christmas at all (like the Puritans)? Very little is intrinsically spiritual or biblical about these kinds of expectations. They’re almost entirely cultural. That doesn’t make them necessarily wrong, but we shouldn’t invent biblical rationales to justify them.

Examples abound. What does the decoration of an evergreen tree have to do with Jesus’ coming to earth to rescue God’s creation? We may tell ourselves it’s a symbol of everlasting life because it’s evergreen but is that really the reason to set up a Christmas tree each year? Similarly, we may point to candles as a symbol of Jesus being the light of the world, holly as a symbol of the crown of thorns that was placed upon Jesus’ head, the color red as a symbol of Jesus’ blood shed on the cross, the yule log as a symbol of the cross, mistletoe as a symbol of reconciliation, and bells as a symbol for ringing out the good news. Even if some of these associations and symbols are ancient, they don’t explain why we should necessarily incorporate them in our Christmas celebrations today. If we’re honest, we have to admit that we celebrate Christmas the way we do primarily because of our own cultural traditions, even though there’s little real connection between these traditions and the biblical accounts of Jesus’ actual coming to this earth as a baby.

The danger of infusing spiritual rationales into cultural practices is also seen in some of the Christmas songs we sing at church during the month of December. The most flagrant violation might be “O Christmas Tree.” You have to search hard through the stanzas of this hymn to find anything related to Jesus. We should be uncomfortable singing this carol in a gathered group of Christians because it’s basically a song paying homage to a tree. Just because the song has been culturally or traditionally associated with Christmas doesn’t mean we should incorporate it into our Christian Christmas celebrations.

The main danger here is that we present cultural practices as if they carry biblical weight or authority. Obscuring the line between cultural practice and biblical teaching is not only unhelpful and confusing, but also potentially harmful to our faith. When we no longer distinguish what’s biblical from what’s cultural, we run the risk of accepting and propagating syncretistic, hodgepodge ideas that have no biblical basis. Our faith is no longer based in truth but, at least in part, on myths and legends.

There is no need, of course, to abandon all these cultural practices in our family celebrations. We should simply maintain and communicate a clear distinction between the aspects of our Christmas celebration that are inherited from the culture and those that are clearly grounded in Scripture.

3. Don’t be embarrassed by the Jewishness of passages related to Jesus’ coming.

The first chapter of Luke includes two lengthy hymns that have traditionally been called the Magnificat (Mary’s song in Luke 1:46–56) and the Benedictus (Zechariah’s song in Luke 1:67–79). The titles come from the first word of these hymns in Latin. These passages—or at least parts of them—are at times neglected because they are rather lengthy and express Jewish hopes in God’s salvation without a clear indication of what that salvation would look like. This deliverance, as we know it in retrospect, comes in the form of Jesus’ death and resurrection, the expansion of the gospel beyond Israel to the Gentiles, and Jesus’ return at the end of time.

The Magnificat celebrates how God, through Mary’s child, will restore and help Israel while opposing her enemies and oppressors. The Benedictus describes John the Baptist’s role in relation to Jesus, the main figure in the fulfillment of God’s plan to restore Israel. The hymn praises God’s actions of visiting and redeeming his people by raising up the Davidic Messiah to deliver his people, all in fulfillment of his promises to Abraham and to his people through the Old Testament prophets. This deliverance will enable God’s people to serve God without fear and in righteousness forever.

Perhaps these hymns are at times neglected in our Christmas sermons because they’re not “Christian” enough. This neglect, however, comes at a serious loss. Both hymns describe the salvation that will result from Jesus’ coming to earth. During his first coming, he decisively dealt with his people’s sin, thus fulfilling passages such as Micah 7:18–20. We’re still waiting for his second coming, when he will set things right in every way—politically, economically, socially, and spiritually—once and for all. We are still waiting for the full and final fulfillment of the declarations made in the Magnificat and Benedictus. Both hymns are also powerful examples of how to praise God by focusing both on his attributes—his power, holiness, and mercy—and his actions in fulfilling his ancient promises to his people in and through the birth of Jesus the Messiah.

The Christian faith is rooted inextricably and inexorably in the Jewish faith. This is why even Luke, a Gentile, presents Jesus’ coming in terms of Old Testament fulfillment (Luke 1:1). Like Matthew, who wrote his Gospel primarily to Jews, Luke presents Jesus’ coming in a thoroughly Jewish cast. If we fail to see our Christian faith rooted in God’s dealings with his people Israel long ago, it will likely remain shallow and leave us with a truncated gospel and canon, not to mention an inadequate understanding of who Jesus is and why he came.

4. Don’t be swayed by dubious challenges to the biblical witness to Jesus’ birth.

Both birth narratives in Scripture are replete with manifestations of supernatural events surrounding the Virgin Birth: angelic appearances, dreams, visions, prophecies made regarding Jesus, Elizabeth conceiving past the age of childbearing, Zechariah losing his speech, the circumstances surrounding the naming of both John and Jesus, the relationship between the two births, and so on. Matthew, for example, goes out of his way to make clear that Mary was Jesus’ mother, but that Joseph was not his real father. After a long string of references to men “fathering” a son, Matthew concludes his genealogy with reference to “Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ” (Matthew 1:16, italics added), indicating that Joseph was not Jesus’ real father. Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit in Mary’s womb.

So let’s not be intimidated by critical objections to the Virgin Birth or other supernatural aspects of the Christmas story. When you read about authors such as Reza Aslan claiming that stories about Jesus’ birth and childhood are “conspicuously absent” from the earliest New Testament writings—such as Paul’s letters and Mark’s Gospel—and that the early Christians filled in the gaps to align Jesus’s life with various Old Testament prophecies, including those related to his birth, don’t be alarmed. According to Aslan, the early Christians concocted the myth of Jesus’ birth in Bethlehem in order “to get Jesus’s parents to Bethlehem so he could be born in the same city as David.” Others, such as Andrew Lincoln, deny the historicity of the Virgin Birth on similar grounds. We can’t respond in detail here, though we’ve done so elsewhere. In short, these kinds of arguments reflect misguided attempts to drain the biblical birth narratives of their transcendent elements by using critical reasoning in order to reinterpret supernatural occurrences and to rewrite the narratives in purely naturalistic terms.

On the one hand, as already mentioned, let’s be careful ourselves not to add extraneous details—though driven by tradition, not critical reasoning. Let’s be adamant in defending the reliability of the biblical witness to the supernatural nature of Jesus’ birth, which was unlike any other in human history. The Bible is unequivocal, and careful historical research certainly allows for the fact that it took a miracle—in fact, a whole string of miracles—to save us. That is nothing to be embarrassed or intimidated about.

5. Don’t get bogged down in trivia and miss the true significance of Jesus’ birth.

Scholars continue to debate questions such as the year of Jesus’s birth, and whether or not Jesus was born on December 25. They debate the historicity of Quirinius’s census, the year of Herod the Great’s death, the phenomena surrounding Jesus’ birth—the star of Bethlehem—and a host of related chronological and other issues. They also debate the possible pagan origins of Christmas, such as whether it provided a functional substitute for the Roman Saturnalia, and, as mentioned, the emergence of various other traditions associated with our celebration of Christmas. All of these are interesting questions worth exploring, but don’t dwell unduly on such peripheral issues. Instead, focus on the central message of Jesus’ first coming, on the biblical story of the Incarnation.

Who was Jesus, and why did he come? John’s Gospel roots Jesus’ origins in eternity past, as the Word who was in the beginning with God and was himself the agent of creation. According to John, in Jesus, God visited the world he had made, but his own did not receive him (1:11). How tragic! How inexcusable! That Word, John tells us, became flesh in Jesus, or, as John puts it, “pitched his tent” among us (1:14). In his three and a half years of ministry, Jesus trained the twelve disciples and others to carry on his mission, to take the gospel of salvation to the ends of the earth. Then, he died for us on the cross to pay for our sins and to reconcile us to God. Our broken relationship with God was mended. Those who trust in him enjoy deep spiritual fulfillment and continual connection with him already in the here and now and will do so for all eternity.

That’s worth celebrating, at Christmas and throughout the year, in joyful song and in a life dedicated to the glory of God in the highest of which the angels sang that starry night over two millennia ago.

Andreas Köstenberger is Senior Research Professor of New Testament and Biblical Theology at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina. Alex Stewart is Academic Dean and Assistant Professor of New Testament Language and Literature at Tyndale Theological Seminary in Badhoevedorp, The Netherlands. They co-authored The First Days of Jesus: The Story of the Incarnation (Crossway, 2015).

 



Atrocities against Christians in the Central African Republic

Posted on by
Atrocities against Christians in the Central African Republic

Inside PK5 – Extra Scene from 'United in Hate: Central African Republic' (Vice News)

In March 2013, the Seleka, a coalition of predominantly Muslim-armed groups from the northeast, marched on the Central African Republic's capital Bangui and seized power.

They committed mass atrocities against the population, and to the largely Christian population in the southwest, Muslims began to be associated with violence. They took up arms to form a Christian self-defense militia called the anti-balaka, and carried out revenge killings.

By the end of 2013, the Central African Republic had descended into civil war. Under pressure from the international community, the Seleka were forced to give up power and retreated towards the northeast, where they regrouped.

A United Nations peacekeeping mission and a French military operation were able to stem the fighting, but despite their presence, the transitional government has not been able to regain control of the country outside Bangui.

With the anti-balaka controlling the southwest, and the Seleka controlling the northeast, the Central African Republic is de facto partitioned along ethno-religious lines. For those who find themselves on the wrong side of the divide, life has become hell.

In this extra scene, VICE News goes to PK5, a predominantly Muslim enclave of the Central African Republic's capital of Bangui, which has seen some of the most violent and brutal fighting between Muslim and Christian communities since the start of the conflict.

Watch Original video on Vice News. "United in Hate: The Fight for Control in CAR"
VICE News is an international news organization created by and for a connected generation. For inquiries please contact newsinfo@vice.com.

 



Little Girl’s ‘Dear Daddy’ Video has gone viral

Posted on by
Little Girl's 'Dear Daddy' Video has gone viral
Here's a cautionary tale about a dad's own behavior

Warning:

The video uses a few graphic words and there is a brief shot of a teenage boy trying to reach into a young woman's pants. It's PG-13 but worth including because this is the REAL LIFE that YOUR girls are dealing with every day in the community where you live.

This video was created by PSA from Care Norway and it painfully depicts how vulnerable our girls are all over the world. This Norwegian branch of charity Care International video has gone viral in Scandinavia — and you'll see why if you watch it. It should move every father to step up and do the right thing of protecting their daughters and educating their sons to treat others as they would like to be treated (God fearing).

The five-minute video is a powerful and disturbing story, narrated from the point of view of an unborn baby girl, as a "Dear Daddy" video. The video narrates the girl's lifetime of abuse, opening with:

"I will be born a girl, which means that by the time I'm 14, the boys in my class will have called me a wh*re, a b*tch, a c*nt, and many other things. It's just for fun of course . . . something boys do. So you won't worry and I understand that. Perhaps you did the same when you were young, trying to impress some of the other boys."

The idea behind this video is to warn fathers-to-be that their own behavior may effectively condone harmful actions in others. Father's need to discourage sexist language and bad jokes about women in their own home as that could have dangerous repercussions down the road.

The Swedish version of the ad was directed by Jakob Ström through Tangrystan Productions, for Norwegian agency Schjaerven.



Love: God’s Most Important Requirement For the Year 2016

Posted on by
Love: God’s Most Important Requirement For the Year 2016

Can love create a necessary and sufficient condition resulting into having the kingdom of God (as our inheritance)? (Photo | EMS OF ECWA Widows Seminar)

The idea of cause and effect is very important to all of us.  We want to know if the action of X has brought about what happens to Y.  In this case, we want to know if the action is a necessary cause for what happens to Y.  If it is not, could it be a contributory cause?  We may also want to know if it is a sufficient cause or not, because something can be necessary and not be sufficient to create the condition for something to happen.  For an example, if your car is not of the electric type, you must have gasoline in it before it can start.  Gasoline is very much necessary but by itself is not sufficient for your car to start.  Other things must contribute to that condition. We need something that is both necessary and sufficient to bring about something.  For a student to graduate with a bachelor degree in sociology, one necessary thing he or she has to do is to declare for a major in that discipline.  However, declaring a major does not create a sufficient condition for graduation.  Something can be necessary but may not be sufficient to get us what we want.  Just one academic core requirement not fulfilled by student can prevent that student from graduating, even if he exceeds the total number of credit hours for graduation.  Love for all people is the most powerful requirement that God wants us to fulfill in the year 2016.

Christianity has many requirements for its adherents, including the fulfillment of the Ten Commandments.  While these requirements are necessary, they cannot qualify us for the inheritance of God’s kingdom. Our good works cannot give us eternal life.  Faith without work is empty or nothing.  Thus our good deeds may be necessary but not sufficient.  Love satisfies both conditions (necessary and sufficient).   Logic explains a necessary cause as a condition that must be present if a particular effect is to occur.  This is different from the explanation for a sufficient condition, that is, one thing by itself bringing about an effect.  This is what love is to the kingdom of God.  Love conquers it all!  No amount of “good” works or religious activities will make us inherit the kingdom of God.  We are discussing the relationship between two things in which one is claimed to affect the other.  The issue here is about the relationship between having love and inheriting the kingdom of God. 

The question is asked, “Can love create a necessary and sufficient condition resulting into having the kingdom of God (as our inheritance)?  Most people will definitely say, “Yes.”   John 3:16, a most quoted Bible verse in evangelism, answers the question in the affirmative as Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”  Love is the answer.

A few people’s encounters with Jesus explain how important love is to the kingdom of God.  Without it, there is no Christian life.  No eternal life.  No kingdom.  He who knows no love does not know God because God is love.  In other words, to know God is to love.  At the birth of Jesus Christ angels celebrated with the world as they sang, “Glory be to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests” (St. Luke 2:14).  It is God’s love that we are celebrating at Christmas.  It is sad for anyone who doesn’t have it.  Human beings must make every effort to find the truth.  When they find it, they find the truth, Jesus the prince of peace.  A Bible teacher in his imaginative power told the story in a different way:

Once upon a time God said that the world must know the truth about his love.  So, from His throne He cast the Truth down into the world.  Upon landing, the Truth scattered into uncountable fragments.  God asked human beings to search for the pieces and fragments. 

Jesus came and claimed to be the Truth, the Way and the Life and that no one comes to the Father except through him.  His body was broken and his blood shed for us that we ay find the truth of God’s love. Jesus brings to us love, peace, and joy.  That love gives life and it is required that we love as Christ loves us.  The mistake, in fact, an error of reasoning that is common today is to believe that one can have joy without having love and peace.  One cannot have joy until one has love and what follows is peace.  So, to have joy, we must have God, the Giver of love and peace.  Who brings down that peace?  Jesus, who said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives” (St. John 14:27).    You must have seen some people around   you who would like to have joy but without love, and of course, without peace.  They are so screwed up as to believe that they can steal someone’s joy or peace and make it their own in order to have joy.  They believe that what they have stolen can give them joy.  The one who steals from the other has no love and peace that should have come from Jesus the prince of peace.  Jesus said, “Watch out!  Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions” (St. Luke 12:15).  God’s love gives peace and He asks us for that love.

Prophet Micah proclaimed what God wanted, “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and walk humbly with your God” (6:8).  Acting justly, showing acts of mercy and walking humbly with God means nothing if one does not love God.  In fact, it is the love of God that makes one have mercy and walk humbly with God.  Today many people engage with works of mercy but in some cases self is at the center; ungodly motives are involved.  God called Moses, “my humble servant,” because all that Moses did as a leader for Israel did not arise from ulterior motives.  They were all for God and His kingdom.  God asks that we show love in the year 2016.  If we are truly God’s people, loving becomes a lifestyle.  We love not because of anything but because God loves us first and to whom much is given much is expected.

The Ten Commandments are reduced to one Law.  This is the Law of love and life that has been God’s standard for communities.  The laws were written originally on two slates.  The commandments are in two parts.  The first part deals with our relationship with God and the second deals with our relationship with one another.  It is love and not laws that make the relationship positive.  It is a covenant of love.  Covenant relationship between husband and wife cannot work if there is no love.  Man’s inhumanity to man that has been on the increase today is as a result of not having love.  Political injustice, war, terrorism, violence, torture, ethnic cleansing, women and children trafficking, rape, jealousy, armed robbery, and the likes, come upon us as a result of the absence of love in our human society.  The African Methodist Episcopal (A.M.E.) has captured the truth of love being the binding agent for God and human beings.  The motto says, “God our Father, Christ our Redeemer, the Holy Spirit our Comforter, humankind our family.”  God created humankind as a family.  This religious motto brings the divine community to bear upon the human community and all is made possible by love.

Conclusion:  What does God ask of us in the year 2016? It is Christian Love for all people.  Jesus said, “A new commandment I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (St. John 13:34).  The greatest commandment for 2016 for all human beings is this:  Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this:  Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than this” (St. Mark 12:30-31).  Show your love for God in the year 2016 and thereafter.  May God give you the spirit and the power to show your love for Him all the days of your life and you will find goodness and mercy pursuing you all the time.

Have a blessed Christmas and a happy new year!

Rev. Dr. Daniel Adebayo Iselaiye has been educator for most of his adult life. Some of his religious activities include sporadic teaching/preaching engagements at several Colleges and Universities across the U.S.. He is now associate professor of religion and philosophy; and  the Chairman of ECWA USA DCC. You can reach him via email

 



Signs of a Good Father

Posted on by
Signs of a Good Father

You know you're a good father when your children enjoy spending time with you. (photo © blackvibes.com)

Carrying a sixty pound backpack in Colorado’s rocky wilderness is hard. If you are used to breathing air at sea level, the high altitude makes it even more physically grueling. When our guides stopped and surveyed the land with a puzzled look, my heart sank. Something was wrong. We should have come to a creek which would confirm we were on the right track. But it wasn’t there. We had taken a wrong turn. Eventually we backtracked and found the correct path and the creek.

As fathers we can sometimes feel lost. We can have self-doubt about how we are doing as dads. While we will never be perfect this side of heaven, if you practice the following 10 things consistently you’ll know you are on the right track to being a good father. You will know you are setting the example your children need.

  1. When you help your kids with their schoolwork.
  2. When you take an interest in their hobbies.
  3. When you show affection to your wife in front of them.
  4. When you advocate that they speak to you and each other respectfully.
  5. When you just enjoy being with your children and they with you.
  6. When your son or daughter comes running to you when they get hurt.
  7. When your calendar is full of things to do with your children.
  8. When you calmly and gently discipline your children without yelling or screaming.
  9. When you tuck your children into bed at night and tell them: “I love you”.
  10. When you know their friends by first name.

For the original article, visit allprodad.com.

 



How to Pray for Angelic Assistance

Posted on by
How to Pray for Angelic Assistance

You can pray for salvation through Jesus and for Him to send His ministering angels to minister to you (image © Within the MECHanism)

Luke 1:26-27 says, "In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary."

The Father sent His angel Gabriel to this earth to deliver a message to Mary that would change her life. Did you know that He still sends angels to this earth to minister to His people? The Bible says concerning these angels in Hebrews 1:14, "Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to minister to those who will inherit salvation?"

We need to learn to take the limits off of God, and allow Him to minister to us as He wills. Many believers are receiving angelic visitations from the Lord. I know I have had angelic activity in my life, and I expect even more ministry in this way. How about you? Where are you at in your spiritual walk with the Lord? Will you allow Him to send His ministering angels to minister to you?

Here is my petition to the Lord for you this day.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I ask You to send forth your angels to minister to the needs of my dear friends this day. That many will see, hear and receive a special angelic touch from You that will heal them in spirit, soul and body.

For those that are fighting against a spirit of death that they receive a divine healing touch and they will rise from their deathbeds completely healed.

And for all who are suffering from physical pain, sickness and disease, I ask that Your ministering angels will encompass them and release their physical healing this very moment.

I pray for others that are fighting against a spirit of deception, that they will receive a message of truth that will set them free and lead them down the path of repentance and back into the arms of the Heavenly Father.

Holy Spirit, send forth Your angels that will minister love and acceptance to those who are contemplating suicide today. Give them the message of hope that is needed to choose life and to carry on to the victory that comes only from the redemptive work of Jesus Christ.

For those who are in the place of major decisions today that will affect the lives of them and their families, release Your ministering angels and strengthen them to do what is right according to Your Word.

Whatever the need may be, I ask that You will release Your angels to minister to them by the power of Your grace.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Becky Dvorak is a prophetic healing evangelist and the Destiny Image author of DARE to Believe and Greater Than Magic. Visit her at authorbeckydvorak.com.

 



An Authentic Man

Posted on by
An Authentic Man

Some traits of an authentic man (Flickr)

I want to destroy a very persuasive lie that has crept into the church and into the hearts of men.

The over-masculinization of men.

How often are we told that "getting in touch with our feelings" is getting in touch with our "feminine side"?  We have been encouraged to be stronger, more stoic, more independent, more … well, you get the point.

The truth is it's a lie. A myth.

We are being told that to truly be in touch with our masculine side is to go outside and kill something or build something or eat something or doing something "manly."  I am not knocking those things, but are those the things that truly define being a man?

Churches have typically responded with one of two extremes:

  • Men's retreats, where we provide all the "manly" activities
  • We offer a space at a table to share our deepest darkest secrets with complete strangers. Neither of these are bad in and of themselves; but God calls us to something greater.

Why am I passionate about this? Because it's killing us:

  • Men are alone: recent research suggests that men have no close friends.
  • Men commit suicide at a rate 4 times higher than women.
  • Depression in men is being called a "silent epidemic."

The reason? Because expressing our God-given emotions is seen as somehow un-masculine. Nothing could be further from the truth.

What Defines Manhood? 

Are there certain stereotypes that men are constantly trying to live up to or down to?  My dear friend and former co-worker Glenn Stanton wrote a book called Secure Daughters, Confident Sons.  He writes this:

"Don't you think the world becomes a better, happier, and healthier place when men are encouraged to become the best version of who they already are? That's part of our job as parents raising boys. Still, we are wise to remember that Clint Eastwood is not Albert Einstein is not Harrison Ford is not George Washington Carver is not Abraham Lincoln … is not your husband or your son." (p.20)

Each man that Glenn highlights is so different, yet in their own innate being, they help us define masculinity. In fact, we are commanded to live differently. I believe there is a better way.

Here is a familiar passage:

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:12-17, ESV).

In some circles within culture, and even the church, we would look at some of these words and sentiments and believe this was written by females for females; compassion, kindness, meekness, love, harmony, singing psalms and spiritual songs, thankfulness.

Do you see it? Do you hear it? We are called by Christ to live and do this life differently. We are being called into true relationship with each other.

We are more than the stereotypes that our culture has defined man to be. No one completely lives up to any stereotype because each of us is unique, defined not only by our DNA and genetic makeup, but also by our own experiences and education. Truly, there is no one else—living, dead, or yet to come—that will ever be exactly like you.

Aren't all men just trying to find their purpose and motivation? Whether believing in God or not, all men are trying to live up to or down to expectations placed on them by the people and culture that surrounds them.

What if our lives as men were identified by the characteristics of Colossians 3? This passage of Scripture reveals four traits of an authentic man:

1. Be authentic. "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God." Look, we can't keep the work of Christ to ourselves. We have to be in relationship with other men. Let me challenge you to find one other man—one man—and develop a close friendship where you can be truly authentic.

2. Extend grace. "… compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." As men we need to be able to speak both truth and grace into each other's lives.

3. Affirm men. "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved …" Honestly, we need to stop telling men where they keep falling short. Stop lecturing men. No one is harder on a man than a man himself. Start leading them. Create a safe place for men to be true to who God is calling them to be …

4. Be thankful. "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." As Christ transforms us and we surrender to His process, we are grateful for the work He is doing in our lives.

Authentic manhood occurs when we fully embrace the person God is calling each of us to be as well as instilling that in each other. We do that in a community where men feel safe enough and cared for enough to truly come to terms with that.

Not only will we be thankful but also the families, churches and communities we serve and lead will be strengthened.

Roy Baldwin is a husband, dad, son and Director of Monadnock Bible Conference. His life mission is to lead and love his family & extend grace to all. Former Director of Parenting and Youth at Focus on the Family, Roy has also worked for over 20 years with at-risk youth and families. You can follow Roy on Twitter @Baldwin_Roy.

For the original article, visit authenticmanhood.com.

 



Loving the Unlovable

Posted on by
Loving the Unlovable

How to love the unlovable – Matthew 5:38-48 (photo, Timmy Gibson)

What is love, and how do we truly exhibit love?

I think we all go on these love craves during which we desire to show God's love as much as we can. We have an encounter with love and want to pour out love every second we get and then we then don't pour out His love as well as we should.

I believe God's love becomes a fad like a W.W.J.D. bracelet. They were a hot item for a while and probably made the creator a lot of money. They then, however, wore out naturally and spiritually.

Aren't we supposed to be all about God's love? The first place we can start being about God's love is in the home. How can we show God's love in the world if we are not showing it in our own home? What does this mean? It means spending time with your loved ones.

In the day and age of modern technology, we can be in a room together with one another, but are we with each other? No. We have our laptops on, phones within reach and a movie or video game on the TV screen. How is this showing love?

What about getting irritated with our family members? Should we snap, get angry, have sharp tones and comments and get irritated with what another person said or did? Is that truly showing God's love? I think that is where the W.W.J.D. bracelets come in. How would Jesus react to another family member? The answer is with love.

We need to learn how to extend and be love to those people who sometimes "drive us nuts," to those "we can't stand to be around" and to those who"drain us emotionally." But why do we even feel that way about "those people?"

I was talking to the Lord recently about whom the world would label "high maintenance people to whom we need to extend a little extra grace." I mean the people who don't seem to want to do anything for themselves or who ask you to pray for them all the time. How many times do you want to shout back at them: "Pray for yourself! You have two lips and a tongue!"

In all seriousness, why do we get irritated with them? Because we do not love enough and because we do not love as Jesus loves.

When will we get back to the place of compassion and love; of pouring ourselves out on people and truly serving them and being a channel of love? When will we do it right? When will we love like Jesus loved? When will we be a stream of constant love?

You know why those people do the things they do to us; because they need love. They are hurting, lonely, rejected, insecure, inferior and they need love. They need someone to pour into them. They need someone to invest in them and to say, "You know what, you are valued and loved, and you are important to me." They should be important to you because they are God's children. Aren't you supposed to love as He loves?

I challenge you to be love. You know who that person is who maybe you would rather have not bug you so much. Perhaps you would be happy if they were not in your life. I want you to love them abundantly. I want you to make them your love assignment. Be nice to them. Go out of your way to love on them and pray for them. Pray that God would give them a love encounter and that they would receive the love of God that comes through other people in their lives.

Make it a practice and a way of living to outlove the other person. Think about how much you are loved. I want you to pour that much love out, that you outlove the person to next you, who loved on you. Yes, a love mission. Learn to outlove the next person. Learn to be love; and when you think you accomplished your mission, when you think you have achieved love, ask the Lord to help you love even more, because it's all about L-O-V-E!

Kathy DeGraw is the founder of DeGraw Ministries, a ministry releasing the love and power of God. She travels hosting conferences, teaching schools and evangelistic love tours. Kathy empowers people to release and be love with her #belove campaign. Kathy enjoys writing and is the author of several books that educate, empower and equip people, including A Worship Woven Life and Flesh, Satan or God. Connect with Kathy at degrawministries.org.

 



Why We May Not be Living in the Last Days

Posted on by
Why We May Not be Living in the Last Days

The last days may not be here yet as some will led you to believe (Flickr)

I love to speak to others about my pervading hope for spiritual awakening. Despite all of the great darkness and unrest, I see the gospel spreading throughout the earth. The beauty and wonder of Jesus is literally transforming the nations.

Nevertheless, when I share things like this, there are those who seem to find fault. They have a hard time accepting my heartfelt optimism.

I was talking with a well-meaning leader just the other the other day who began discounting my outlook. He said, "J.D., your view is preposterous. Don't you notice how terrible things really are? Don't you know what the Bible says? 'In the last days perilous times will come'" (2 Tim. 3:1).

Another man suggested that I was a "scoffer." He said, "Don't you know what Jude, the half-brother of Jesus, declared? 'In the last days there will be scoffers who will walk after their own ungodly desires' (Jude 1:18). If you don't see things getting worse, you're nothing more than a scoffer—rejecting the Word of God."

Many insist that the Bible foretells disaster and trouble—particularly as we descend into the "last days." They're convinced that, in the grand biblical narrative, cataclysm and destruction are imminent. It seems that there can be no goodness or hope in "perilous times."

This kind of worldview is understandable. A superficial reading of the New Testament would certainly suggest this disruptive reality. However, things are not always as they appear.

The term "last days" is arguably one of the most misunderstood phrases in the Bible. Contrary to popular opinion, it's not talking about the end of the world, but the end of the "old covenant" era.

Rather than referring to the destruction of the earth, it is a depiction of the "last days" of the Temple, animal sacrifices and Levitical priesthood. Much of the talk in passages such as 2 Timothy 3:1 and Jude 1:18 speaks to the unrest and volatility that took place during this tumultuous transition. It was to be the "last days" of an religious era—the end of all that they knew and experienced. Nevertheless, it was also the beginning of new era that brings beauty and wonder.

It might surprise you to hear this, but the writer of Hebrews makes it clear that the "last days" were transpiring in the first century. He declares to his audience that the revelation of Messiah was being received, "in these last days" (Heb. 1:2). Elaborating on what he meant by this, he goes on to declare that "Jesus has now obtained a more superior ministry, since the covenant he mediates is founded on better promises" (Heb. 8:6).

The phrase "last days" or "end of the age" is really about a first-century transition to the New Covenant order. It is the end of what was and the beginning of something new!

It really comes down to this: it was the "last days" for them, not us.

This biblical phrase was never meant to be used as an excuse to distract the good news of Jesus' gospel.

J.D. King, author and speaker, is the director of the World Revival Network.

 



The Girl Who Didn’t Need a Wheelchair

Posted on by
The Girl Who Didn’t Need a Wheelchair

Freweyne’s story of survival and triumph (Compansion.com)

Imagine a life where every step you take requires extra caution and a lot of energy; where every breath feels like your last one; where two or three fast-paced steps lead to you gasping for air and passing out; where a simple cough results in you vomiting blood; where even if your heart’s desire is to run around with your friends, it simply refuses to let you.

Imagine a life where your family’s life revolves around taking turns to keep an eye on you while you sleep; where life becomes so hopeless that you attempt to end it by overdosing on your medications.

This was young Freweyne’s life.

Freweyne was suffering from congestive heart failure, specifically an aortic valve stenosis in which two of the valves were narrow and another one was deformed. It’s a condition that none of the hospitals in Ethiopia were equipped to repair. The recommended surgery available in India and the travel costs were astronomical.

“My husband and I cried when we heard the news from the doctors. Even if we raised funds and begged from each citizen in the town, it was just impossible to come up with the money for her treatment. I have never felt so hopeless in my life,” says Hule, Freweyne’s mother.

Enter the Compassion Child Development Center Staff where Frewyne was enrolled and the loving donors who funded her lifesaving heart surgery. After a month in India and two complicated surgeries, her mother recalls the day she came home.

“I went to the airport in Addis with the center director, Alem. When I expected someone in a wheelchair, my daughter came almost running to me with a big smile and her arms as open wide as possible. That day I felt like I was given a brand new baby girl. My girl’s smile was back, bringing the family’s laughter with it.”

Life went back to normal for Freweyne and her family. Two years after she quit school, she returned back with zeal and energy.

“I don’t know why God chose to give me a second chance in life. I just know that He has a special purpose for my life. I have invited Him into my heart – the heart He only healed. I love reading the Bible and I try to live to bring glory to His name. I also want to change my family’s life because they went through a lot trying to take care of me while I was sick. I bless the day I joined Compassion. I believe it was also a day God decided to bring healing to my dying heart He only saw,” says Freweyne.

Watch Freweyne share her journey from a helpless life to one filled with hope on Compassion.com!



Christian Persecution in Nigeria

Posted on by
Christian Persecution in Nigeria
The pattern of persecution in Nigeria is much more complex than only killing or wounding Christians (EMS of ECWA photo)
 
QUICK FACTS
Leader: Muhammadu Buhari
Government: Federal republic

Population: 183 million (89 million Christians)
Main Religion: Islam/Christianity

Persecution Level: Extreme
Source of persecution: Islamic extremism
 
OVERVIEW OF NIGERIA
Although Boko Haram is most often associated with persecution of Christians in northern Nigerian, the pattern of persecution is much more complex than only killing or wounding Christians – as well as moderate Muslims – by an Islamic terrorist group. This is especially so in the 12 northern Sharia states where local government and social groups leave hardly any space for Christians to live their own lives. The current situation in Nigeria casts dark clouds ahead with the declaration of a caliphate in northeastern Nigeria. Boko Haram has kidnapped hundreds of girls, boys and women. Also, the attacks have left thousands homeless.
 
PRAYER POINTS
  • That the 200 girls of Chibok and the many others kidnapped by Boko Haram will be returned to their homes
  • That the thousands of Christians who have been displaced in northeastern Nigeria will be reunited with their families and receive relief help and trauma counseling from Open Doors workers
  • That all those affected by the violence and trauma of Boko Haram would rest secure in God
TAKE ACTION
Read original article on Open Doors, Serving persecuted Christians worldwide.
 


Close To Half Of People With High Cholesterol Aren’t Taking Medication

Posted on by
Close To Half Of People With High Cholesterol Aren’t Taking Medication

A high percentage of  people with high cholesterol are not taking their medication (image © Dr. Peter Osborne)

Cholesterol is one of the health parameters that determine a person’s risk of heart disease. In the U.S. alone, roughly 78 million people are diagnosed with high LDL — or “bad” — cholesterol.

Despite the prevalence of the risk factor, not everyone eligible to take cholesterol-reducing drugs is doing so. This was discovered through a study by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which went through data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Surveys between 2005 and 2012.

According to a news release, the CDC report revealed that 36.7 percent of U.S. adults are allowed to take medication designed to lower cholesterol. Unfortunately, only 55.5 percent of this group take this kind of medication. In terms of race and ethnicity, Mexican-Americans have the least proportion of medication takers, with only 47 percent of the eligible group currently taking drugs.

The agency also discovered that only 46.6 percent of people eligible to take cholesterol-reducing drugs changed their lifestyles to include increased physical activity. Meanwhile, 35.5 percent chose not to take medication or make lifestyle changes.

People who are eligible for cholesterol-lowering drugs should have either cardiovascular disease or impairment, or high LDL cholesterol. Adults between 40 and 75 years of age are recommended for medication if they have diabetes and high LDL cholesterol combined.

by   Read Original article at TestCountry.com

 



If Christianity Bores You, Then You Haven’t Met Jesus

Posted on by
If Christianity Bores You, Then You Haven't Met Jesus

It's a true miracle to meet Jesus. (photo © Dr. Ashraf Fekry)

I used to think Christianity was boring, dull and hands-down a waste of time.

I was never a fan of going to church or getting dropped off at yet another youth group event when I was younger. It all seemed to be pointless and irrelevant to my current stage of life. I felt this way for the first 19 years of my life, that is, until I actually experienced Jesus for who He really was and not who I assumed Him to be.

I dropped my pride and finally let God in. Only then was my life transformed. This didn't happen overnight, but with persistence and humility, my relationship with God truly started to grow. 

For a lot of people, the idea of Christianity doesn't bring much excitement to the table. The thought of reading a Bible, attending a church service or even praying makes certain individuals cringe. And let's not forget to mention those who claim to be believers, yet still think the wondrous life of a Christ follower is still not what it's cracked up to be. For the two groups I have previously mentioned, I beg to differ. 

A True Encounter

When one truly encounters the consuming love of Jesus, one's life is anything but mundane and stale. It can't be, as the love and power of Jesus is too marvelous to walk away from once tasted. Worship will become exhilarating, reading the Bible will become fascinating, and prayer will become a conversation with God that you can't seem to stay away from. The Bible says that we are sanctified (set apart) by the blood of Christ, and we must realize that one cannot truly digest this truth and not find the eternal joy that comes along with it. 

The Bible paints a very clear picture of what happens when someone belongs to Christ. The old fades away, and a new life will begin. Only through Jesus can we truly come alive into the existence and community we were created for. Life in Christ encompasses the totality of Christ Himself, which characteristically is anything but monotonous and mind-numbing. 

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and He raised us up and seated us together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one should boast" (Eph. 2:4-9).

A life in Christ brings purpose, restoration, grace and eternal identity. The adventure that awaits a follower of Jesus is one this world simply cannot match, let alone keep anywhere near to. Every day is a new experience, a new facet of God's glory, and another opportunity to deepen one's personal relationship with the Creator. There is always room for growth, which means there is always room for adventure. So if you think Christianity is boring, then you haven't met Jesus.

Understand that the Christian life isn't always going to be roses and sunshine. Everybody encounters doubt, anxiety and even fear—we wouldn't be human unless we did. What we need to remember is that even during these times of darkness and uncertainty, we have a light at the end of the tunnel to run toward. Jesus' Spirit, our comfort and peace, is an ocean of eternal euphoria.

The fear of rules and regulations are false. Don't let the talk of religion keep you from experiencing an unfathomable relationship with Christ.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad To Finch, pastor, author, blogger and founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



7 Damaging Sins Which Can Cripple Every Marriage

Posted on by
7 Damaging Sins Which Can Cripple Every Marriage

Damaging sins you need to watch out for in your marriage (iStock photo)

Did you know there are sins that can cripple every marriage? Yes, there are.

You realize there are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people. Right?

Let me repeat that. There are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people. 

Every marriage will have seasons that are more difficult than others. I often encounter couples in our church that think they are unique. Because we tend to put on our happy faces at church, they believe theirs is the only marriage in a bad season.

In fact, I'm convinced not understanding how many couples have weathered through these rocky places in marriage may be a reason many couples give up on their marriage. If they understood how normal they are, they might be more willing to raise the white flag—ask for help—and work to restore the marriage. 

I have observed over the years there are some issues in marriages that, if not addressed, can be crippling to the marriage. These are the "biggies." They may manifest themselves in other ways, but if you could trace back to the origin, you would find these to be at fault.

And let's not sugarcoat. They are sins. We have all sinned. We all sin. Every marriage is comprised of two sinners. 

This is the real reason there are no perfect marriages. 

Left to fester on their own, these sins will eventually be the destroyer of the marriage or certainly keep it from achieving the oneness God commanded. 

So, what are these damaging sins? I'm glad you asked.

Here are seven damaging sins that can cripple every marriage:

1. Selfishness – Marriage won't work without mutual submission. Read Ephesians 5:21. Marriage is not a 50/50 arrangement. Ideally it's to be a 100/100 bond—where both spouses willingly yield their all. (I used the word ideal, because your marriage is not there and neither is mine.) When one spouse demands their way or will never work toward a compromise the relationship can never be all it should be. One person is happy—the one who got their way—the other is miserable.  

2. Discontent – I've said before—boredom is perhaps the No. 1 destroyer of marriage. There will be seasons in every relationship that aren't as "exciting" as others. Some days you will "feel" more in love than other days. But the key to a long-term relationship is a commitment beyond emotion. 

3. Pride – When one spouse can never admit they are wrong or see their own flaws, it opens the door for a wedge of bitterness in the other spouse. Pride is also destructive when the couple is too proud to admit their struggles or get the help they need. 

4. Unforgiveness – Holding on to past hurts not only damages the marriage bond, it destroys the person who refuses to forgive. Trust can't be developed until forgiveness is granted. Isn't grace received expected to be extended? 

5. Anger – The Scripture is clear: We should not go to bed in anger. There is a reason for that command. Anger is a wedge, one that only grows wider over time when not dealt with. 

6. Complacency – As soon as you think you're marriage is above the problems of other relationships, you're in trouble. The enemy loves to attack the unaware. 

7. Coveting – Couples who compare themselves to other couples will almost always be disappointed. There will always be people with more—and it likely isn't making them as happy as you think it does. Keep in mind, many times people disguise their struggles well. The couple you think has it all may wish they had what you have. Every couple is unique. Comparison only leads to frustration. 

Ask yourself this question: Which of these sins is most prevalent in my marriage today? Which is causing the greatest harm? Which of these, while it may not be an issue today, could become an issue if we don't get serious about it soon?

Be honest with yourself—and ultimately—with your spouse.

Ron Edmondson is the senior pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky. For the original article, visit ronedmondson.com.