Healthy Dating Practices for the New Year

This is what it means to date with intentionality and maturity (photo © Glow of Love by Angela D. Coleman)
 
There are plenty of unhealthy ways to date, so I've compiled 10 healthy dating practices that I believe cut to the core of what it means to date with intentionality and maturity.
 
1. Date with intention.
This is going to be for the best of both parties involved. Dating isn't a game, and the last thing you want to do is get in a relationship with someone when your intentions are anything but pure. If you're just looking for fun, I'd recommend you be open and honest about your intentions with anyone you meet or connect with. It's only fair to them and their emotions.
 
2. Make sure your first date is in a public place.
You just never know who you're going to meet. I'd recommend your first date be in a public place in front of lots of people and I'd even recommend you let your friends know where you will be in case something were to happen. You never know who the person you've chatted with on the phone might act in person, and the last thing you want to happen is end up in a private place with someone whose motives are anything but respectful.
 
3. Try to learn as much as you can before meeting them.
Yes, the beauty of social media. If they have public profiles, then make sure to do your due diligence and research as much as you can about the person. It only makes sense to do a little Facebook stalking to see whom you're meeting with. Come on, we've all done it. While someone's online profiles might not always match up with how they act in person, it's always a good idea to see how someone presents themselves online and it may give you the opportunity to end a date before it even starts. Better to be safe than sorry.
 
4. Value the input of your friends and family.
Your friends and family play a valuable role in your dating life, and it's always good to get their opinions when it comes to the person you are dating. Mind you, they might always give the best advice but it's always good to get wisdom from the people who are looking out for your best interest.
 
5. Continue to stay social with your friends and family.
Don't be that person who gets a relationship and then disappears from the face of the planet. We all know that person. Yes, I know you want to spend time with your new babe, but it's also healthy to continue carving out time for your friends and family members.
 
6. Have a "define the relationship" every few dates to see how things are going. 
Nobody likes dating in the dark. I don't mean literally, but emotionally. Not knowing where your relationship stands can be extremely stressful, so I suggest that you and your new girl/guy take time every few weeks to discuss where each other is at with things.
This will give you both clarity, keep the relationship healthy, and keep the relationship from ever going further than it needs to.
 
7. Be open and honest from the very beginning.
Relationships thrive on transparency. Letting people know about you from the very beginning is quite possibly the best thing you can do for your relationship. Everyone's made mistakes, and I'd encourage you to share about the big pieces of your life that have made you who you are today. Don't keep things hidden in fear of rejection. Be open.
 
8. Don't play with someone's emotions.
If it's not working, then end it. Some relationships are kind of like the TV show American Idol—they go on way longer than they actually should. Seriously though, don't keep a relationship going just for the heck of it. The best thing you can do is be transparent about how you're feeling. If things aren't working out, then end it with care. Ending the relationship as soon as you realize it's not working out will show you care about the person more than dragging it along. Trust me.
 
9. Don't have important conversations via text or email.
We've all been there. Auto-correct and text interpretation can be a relationship's worst nightmare. Save the important conversations for an actual conversation, not a banter of back and forth emojis and broken English. Plus, waiting to talk in person will give you time to really think about what you want to say instead of texting out of pure emotion.
 
10. Don't settle.
Simple. Don't settle for a mediocre relationship. You deserve to be with someone who supports you, encourages you, cares for you and loves you for who you are. Don't settle for mediocre when you could have extraordinary.
 
Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad to Finch, pastor, author, blogger and founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.
For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com
 


If Christianity Bores You, Then You Haven’t Met Jesus

It's a true miracle to meet Jesus. (photo © Dr. Ashraf Fekry)

I used to think Christianity was boring, dull and hands-down a waste of time.

I was never a fan of going to church or getting dropped off at yet another youth group event when I was younger. It all seemed to be pointless and irrelevant to my current stage of life. I felt this way for the first 19 years of my life, that is, until I actually experienced Jesus for who He really was and not who I assumed Him to be.

I dropped my pride and finally let God in. Only then was my life transformed. This didn't happen overnight, but with persistence and humility, my relationship with God truly started to grow. 

For a lot of people, the idea of Christianity doesn't bring much excitement to the table. The thought of reading a Bible, attending a church service or even praying makes certain individuals cringe. And let's not forget to mention those who claim to be believers, yet still think the wondrous life of a Christ follower is still not what it's cracked up to be. For the two groups I have previously mentioned, I beg to differ. 

A True Encounter

When one truly encounters the consuming love of Jesus, one's life is anything but mundane and stale. It can't be, as the love and power of Jesus is too marvelous to walk away from once tasted. Worship will become exhilarating, reading the Bible will become fascinating, and prayer will become a conversation with God that you can't seem to stay away from. The Bible says that we are sanctified (set apart) by the blood of Christ, and we must realize that one cannot truly digest this truth and not find the eternal joy that comes along with it. 

The Bible paints a very clear picture of what happens when someone belongs to Christ. The old fades away, and a new life will begin. Only through Jesus can we truly come alive into the existence and community we were created for. Life in Christ encompasses the totality of Christ Himself, which characteristically is anything but monotonous and mind-numbing. 

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and He raised us up and seated us together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one should boast" (Eph. 2:4-9).

A life in Christ brings purpose, restoration, grace and eternal identity. The adventure that awaits a follower of Jesus is one this world simply cannot match, let alone keep anywhere near to. Every day is a new experience, a new facet of God's glory, and another opportunity to deepen one's personal relationship with the Creator. There is always room for growth, which means there is always room for adventure. So if you think Christianity is boring, then you haven't met Jesus.

Understand that the Christian life isn't always going to be roses and sunshine. Everybody encounters doubt, anxiety and even fear—we wouldn't be human unless we did. What we need to remember is that even during these times of darkness and uncertainty, we have a light at the end of the tunnel to run toward. Jesus' Spirit, our comfort and peace, is an ocean of eternal euphoria.

The fear of rules and regulations are false. Don't let the talk of religion keep you from experiencing an unfathomable relationship with Christ.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad To Finch, pastor, author, blogger and founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



Giving this Holiday Season

Let the Scriptures, and the Holy Spirit, be your guide in giving this holiday season and beyond (image:St Leodegar's Church).

November and December are both months filled with the spirit of giving. We give not to get anything in return, but because Jesus gave his life for us.

Here are 20 Bible verses to chew on during this wonderful season.

1. Deuteronomy 15:10 – "Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to."

2. Deuteronomy 16:17 – "Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which He has given you."

3. Proverbs 21:26 – "The righteous gives and does not hold back."

4. Proverbs 3:27 – "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it."

5. Proverbs 11:24-25 – "There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered."

6. 1 Chronicles 29:9 – "Then the people rejoiced because they had offered so willingly, for they made their offering to the Lord with a whole heart, and King David also rejoiced greatly."

7. Proverbs 22:9 – "He who is generous will be blessed, for he gives some of his food to the poor."

8. Proverbs 28:27 – "He who gives to the poor will never want, but he who shuts his eyes will have many curses."

9. Malachi 3:10 – "'Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test Me now in this,' says the Lord of hosts, 'if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.'"

10. Matthew 6:3-4 – "But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

11. Mark 12:41-44 – "And He sat down opposite the treasury, and began observing how the people were putting money into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent. Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, 'Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.'"

12. Luke 3:11 – "And he would answer and say to them, 'The man who has two tunics is to share with him who has none; and he who has food is to do likewise.'"

13. Luke 6:30 – "Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back."

14. 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 – "Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed."

15. Luke 6:38 – "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return."

16. John 3:16 – "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him wouldn't perish, but would have eternal life."

17. Acts 20:35 – "In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

18. Romans 12:8 – "Or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness."

19. James 2:15-16 – "If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?"

20. 2 Corinthians 9:10 – "Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness."

Jarrid Wilson is a husband Juli, dad To Finch, pastor, author, blogger and founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



Why are Millennials Sick of Church?

Ministers should know that millennials don't need a lot of frills in a church service. (ECWA Archive)

There are literally thousands of articles online about why the millennial generation is disillusioned with church, church culture and church politics. And while I applaud the attempt to wrap one's head around the issue, I've noticed that most of the articles seem to be written by people who know nothing about the millennial generation. Weird.

I've talked with thousands of young people over the years who have told me, "I'm just sick of church." I've heard everything under the sun when it comes to one's reasoning for leaving, and I believe many of them carry a lot of heavy truth. Here are some of them …

1. "It's not authentic."
2. "It's too corporate." 
3. "I don't like the political side."
4. "I feel like I can't be open about my struggles."
5. "I hate the cliques."
6. "It's too judgmental." 
7. "Their attempt at being relevant comes off as cheesy."
8. "They don't spend enough time outside of their building."
9. "They aren't really welcoming of people who are different from them." 
10. "They focus too much on what they know instead of whom they are showing love to."

 

And while I believe not all churches deal with the complaints I mentioned above, it's safe to say there are many who probably do. That's why I'm writing this. This needs to be discussed.

Authenticity Is Key

If churches want to see more millennials walk through their doors, they need to stop trying to entice them with free stuff, and instead allow their spaces to be filled with authentic relationships and transparent conversations. The Acts 2 church was a perfect example of this.

"They continued steadfastly in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of bread and in the prayers. Fear came to every soul. And many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common. They sold their property and goods and distributed them to all, according to their need. And continuing daily with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart" (Acts 2:42-46).

Some people say there is a decline in millennial church attendance, while others say they don't see much of a change at all. We must realize that just because millennials aren't showing up to church buildings doesn't mean they aren't part of a thriving community of believers, or are without a biblical relationship with God.

Millennials aren't looking for brighter lights. Millennials aren't looking for more free coffee. They want Jesus-founded authenticity, a safe-place to share burdens, real answers to real questions and a community of action.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad to Finch, pastor, author, blogger, founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



How to Be a Christian in a Public School

Being a Christian in a public school can be quite a task. (Flickr)

No matter if you are a student in high school or a junior in college, the pressure of being a Christian in a public school setting seems to be talked about pretty often. The reality is, you don't need to worry. There will be trials, but God has you covered.

Here are some things that will help you on your journey of being a Christian in a public school:

1. Remove any thought of being "better" than your peers. You're human. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has flaws. Don't allow yourself to believe the lie that you are better than others because of your faith. Instead, humble yourself before those you come in contact with and make sure to be a living example of humility and grace.

2. Allow God to guide your words, actions and steps. Don't try to do things on your own. Allow God to guide every step of your schooling career, and this includes on and off campus. If you're going to claim to be a Christian, please make sure that you are truly surrendering to divine direction. Don't make Jesus look like a fool because of your own personal decisions. Walk in truth, extend grace and put the needs of others before yourself.

3. Don't silo yourself. You don't have to spend your time in the corner of the gym singing "God's not dead. He's surely alive!" in order to be a Christian in a public school.

Not to mention you'll probably never find yourself in a situation that most Christian movies portray public schools to be like. You need to make a priority of removing yourself from anything that will silo you from others, and instead allow yourself to embrace and welcome the lives of others into your personal life. Be known as someone who is approachable, not cold and distant.

Also remember that there is nothing wrong with spending time with unbelievers, as long as these people aren't directly influencing you in a negative manner. I'd actually encourage you to have some friends who don't necessarily see eye-to-eye with everything you believe. Why? It's because it's good for your soul. Back to my previous statement … be approachable.

You've Got This

Don't stress about being a Christian in a public school. There's no need to worry. Stand true to your beliefs, but be compassionate to those who don't see eye to eye with you. Kill them with kindness, and this includes any of your teachers. You've got this.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor and author relentlessly sharing the love of Jesus. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



Does God Even Care When We’re Broken?

God cares about your hurts and your pain. (Lightstock)

Sometimes feeling "OK" is the best you've felt in a very long time. Your brokenness entraps you because of unchangeable moments that took place in your past.

You've yet to let go and find peace amidst the storm of remembrance. You're hurting. You're frustrated. You're in repetitious, unwavering pain. You ask yourself, "Does God even care?" 

God does care. He feels our pain, yet sometimes the way he responds to us might not be exactly the way we anticipate. Over the course of my life, I'll be honest in saying I've found myself furious at God on multiple occasions. I've yelled at God, cursed at God and even threatened God for not providing what I felt was the best response for my current situation in life.

I'm sure he looked down at me, chuckled a bit and knew that I didn't really mean what I was saying. I was just upset, and God was patient enough to let me vent to him. He allowed me to use him as a scratching post. He could handle it. That's the beauty of God; He's big enough to handle anything I throw at him, but wise enough to not give me everything I ask for.

When putting our lives in the hands of God, we must be ready to not understand everything that God does, why he does it, and how long he will do it for. Some things only have one answer; to trust God even if it doesn't make sense. It may seem like a shallow and cliché response, but it's actually quite the opposite.

Trusting God among our brokenness is a beautifully painful but spiritually deepening experience. Every time we put our trust in God, another scoop of our fleshly dirt is removed from our spiritual sandbox.

Trust God among your brokenness, but realize it's OK to be mad at him, frustrated and even downright confused. God doesn't expect us to understand everything he does, but he does expect us to trust him among the process.

Don't be afraid to question what's happening. Don't be afraid to wave your fist a little.

God can handle it. Let it all out, and get honest with God about what you're really feeling.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor and author relentlessly sharing the love of Jesus. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.