Category Archives: Christian Life



Place Jesus Back In The Manger. Celebrate Advent This Christmas Season.

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Frank Powell- Place Jesus Back In The Manger. Celebrate Advent This Christmas Season.

There is no better time of the year to celebrate Advent than now. Walk through Advent with your loved ones.

Growing up, I loved Christmas season. December meant lights, decorations, gifts, family, and two weeks out of school. It was the most wonderful time fo the year.

But, as life transitioned from college graduation to marriage to children, an uneasiness swelled up in my heart as December approached. The things I enjoyed as an adolescent contributed to the storm of uneasiness as an adult. Parties. Gifts. Decorations. Even family outings were stressful, as we had to divide time between two families “appropriately” (whatever that means).

As a teenager, with no responsibilities, expectations surrounding Christmas were huge. Anticipation built as the calendar inched closer to Christmas Day. And the day never seemed to disappoint. As an adult, however, the anticipation and expectations always felt empty. Christmas day never lived up to its enormous billing. For several years, I battled a legitimate case of the “Christmas blues.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love watching my boys open gifts. It really is better to give than receive. But, after the presents were put away, I found myself alone, disappointed, thinking, “Surely there is more to Christmas than this.”

Three years ago, while bracing myself for another underwhelming holiday season, I discovered something that changed Christmas.
Advent.

I want to introduce you to the present that saved Christmas for me. I believe it will do the same for you.

What is Advent?

Advent is traditionally observed on the four Sundays leading up to Christmas. The word “Advent” simply means “arrival” or “coming.” For Christians, Advent refers to the arrival of Jesus Christ, God greatest gift to the world. For hundreds of years, God’s people waited eagerly for the Messiah. Then, in a small, sleepy town, in the most humble of circumstances, “the word became flesh.” The heavens opened, and God took the form of a man. The angels rejoiced! Emmanuel – God with us!

Today, much like the Israelites, we wait. Our hope is firmly placed in the inevitable return of Jesus. Advent is a time for remembering, rejoicing, watching, and holding to God’s promises.

Why should you observe Advent?

1.) Placing Jesus at the center of your holiday season adds meaning to everything else.

Family, gifts, decorations and holiday gatherings are shadows. Jesus is the substance. Shadows aren’t inherently bad. They are revealing. My shadow can tell you my presence is near. But my shadow is empty. If someone focuses on my shadow more than me, you would think they are stupid.

A similar thing happens during the holiday season. The events surrounding this season are good. For the most part. But they’re shadows. The joy of seeing family. The anticipation of Christmas day. These are shadows, designed to point you to the substance, Jesus Christ. If you focus more on the shadows than the substance, you won’t discover the fullness of this season. Jesus is the only one who can satisfy the weight of enormous expectations.

Observe Advent because it focuses on the substance, and adds meaning to the shadows.

2.) The demands surrounding this season can be overwhelming.

The increasing demands during the holiday season can be overwhelming. If you’re like me, you have something going on almost every night. Combining a packed schedule with life’s normal demands, and the result is often exhaustion and stress.

By the time the calendar flips to December 25th, you’re excited returned to the North Pole. You say, “I love the Christmas season, but I’m glad it’s over.”

What if you arrived at December 25th wanting more? Is it possible that your “I’m glad it’s over” attitude is a sign? It was for me. Advent focuses your thoughts around Jesus Christ, the only one who renews your tired heart and weary mind. Advent releases you from the burden of this season’s demands by aligning your sights on a manger, not a calendar.

3.) God can be trusted. His promises are always true. 

When you focus on the shadows of Christmas, you miss something huge. The promises of God are fulfilled in Jesus.

For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory.1 Corinthians 1:20

Every promise finds its “yes” in Jesus. In other words, the birth of Jesus reminds you that every word of God is trustworthy. If God’s people could grasp this one reality, Satan wouldn’t have much of a kingdom on earth. If Christians could believe, I mean really believe, that EVERY word spoken from God is true, we would change the world. Overnight.

But if you’re like me, I read the promises in Scripture, I hear the promises from the pulpit, I pray the promises to God, but I don’t believe the promises. I don’t actually believe every word in Scripture is true. If so, I would let go of my comfort-driven, fear-controlled life. I would not care whether someone ridiculed me or killed me. To live would be gain and to die would be Christ. As it is, I wrestle with the promises, allowing my flesh to win most days.

Advent is about the arrival of Jesus. Emmanuel, “God with us.” Visible proof of a promise-keeping God. And, in a culture predicated on fear and a season driven by speed and materialism, we need this proof.

How do you place Jesus at the center of this season?

In case you missed the first link, here’s how to receive your free Advent daily devotional.

I know the transformative nature of Advent. I want you to experience a similar transformation. So, I created an Advent daily devotional guide. Everything you need to center your heart and mind around the substance of Christmas, Jesus Christ, is included in this guide.

This year’s theme is “Standing On The Promises.” If you sign up, you will receive a devotional every morning in your inbox, beginning November 29th, the first day of Advent (if you sign up after this day, you will receive your first devotional the following morning). Each day’s devo includes:

  1. A truth about God to guide your day
  2. Scriptures building on the day’s truth
  3. A reflection centered around the day’s truth and corresponding Scriptures
  4. A prayer as you prepare to transition into your day’s activities

In addition to the daily devotionals, each week has a theme undergirding the overall theme and tying together the daily readings.

Here are the weekly themes.

If you take a few minutes every day to soak in the divine truths of Christmas, I think God will do something amazing in your heart. Even if you love the holiday season the way it is, I challenge you to try Advent. I believe it will change how you see Jesus forever..

_______

We serve a promise-keeping God. And one day, in a moment, Jesus will return. This time, death, brokenness, sin, and Satan will be forever divorced from God and every person who loves Him.

Until then, we wait. But we don’t passively wait. We wait with eager expectation, anticipation, and hope. We serve a God who ALWAYS keep his promises. That’s a gift worth opening and proclaiming to others!

I love you all. To God be the glory forever! Amen.

Frank Powell is a blogger and a devoted follower of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.He is married to Tiffani Powell, also a passionate follower of Jesus. They have two children, Noah Riley Powell and Micah Grayson Powell. You may read the original article on his website at frankpowell.me.

 



Why are Millennials Sick of Church?

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Why are Millennials Sick of Church?

Ministers should know that millennials don't need a lot of frills in a church service. (ECWA Archive)

There are literally thousands of articles online about why the millennial generation is disillusioned with church, church culture and church politics. And while I applaud the attempt to wrap one's head around the issue, I've noticed that most of the articles seem to be written by people who know nothing about the millennial generation. Weird.

I've talked with thousands of young people over the years who have told me, "I'm just sick of church." I've heard everything under the sun when it comes to one's reasoning for leaving, and I believe many of them carry a lot of heavy truth. Here are some of them …

1. "It's not authentic."
2. "It's too corporate." 
3. "I don't like the political side."
4. "I feel like I can't be open about my struggles."
5. "I hate the cliques."
6. "It's too judgmental." 
7. "Their attempt at being relevant comes off as cheesy."
8. "They don't spend enough time outside of their building."
9. "They aren't really welcoming of people who are different from them." 
10. "They focus too much on what they know instead of whom they are showing love to."

 

And while I believe not all churches deal with the complaints I mentioned above, it's safe to say there are many who probably do. That's why I'm writing this. This needs to be discussed.

Authenticity Is Key

If churches want to see more millennials walk through their doors, they need to stop trying to entice them with free stuff, and instead allow their spaces to be filled with authentic relationships and transparent conversations. The Acts 2 church was a perfect example of this.

"They continued steadfastly in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of bread and in the prayers. Fear came to every soul. And many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common. They sold their property and goods and distributed them to all, according to their need. And continuing daily with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart" (Acts 2:42-46).

Some people say there is a decline in millennial church attendance, while others say they don't see much of a change at all. We must realize that just because millennials aren't showing up to church buildings doesn't mean they aren't part of a thriving community of believers, or are without a biblical relationship with God.

Millennials aren't looking for brighter lights. Millennials aren't looking for more free coffee. They want Jesus-founded authenticity, a safe-place to share burdens, real answers to real questions and a community of action.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad to Finch, pastor, author, blogger, founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Cohabitate Before Marriage

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5 Reasons You Shouldn't Cohabitate Before Marriage

Studies shows after living together before marriage, the odds of staying together decreases significantly (image © Andy Ward)

Are you single or dating someone you think may be the one? Or do you have kids who are dating and may be thinking wedding bells at some point?

If so, you may want to consider the importance of marrying before moving in together or of teaching your kids about the pitfalls of shacking up.

More and more couples are choosing to move in together before marriage. One reason is to save on rent. Yes, saving on rent. Saving on rent is not, and should not be, a reason to live with someone who may or may not become your spouse. In fact, it is a really bad reason. Below are five reasons shacking up is a bad idea:

1. No blessings from God. The Bible considers shacking up the opposite of a legitimate marriage. A legitimate marriage consists of a union between a man and woman who have made a covenant and commitment. Shacking up involves neither. Marriage was a union created by God and is a union God blesses.

2. Your relationship will probably end. An article on examiner.com states that 80 percent of shacking-up relationships end before marriage or in divorce after marriage. So, it is 80/20 against you getting married or staying married to that person. One reason is because there is not a commitment when you move in before marriage. A relationship without commitment will not last, and marriage is the biggest commitment you can make in life.

3. Your children will be negatively affected. To the parents who have children, your kids are three times as likely to be expelled from school or get pregnant, five times more likely to live in poverty, and 22 times more likely to be incarcerated—all because you choose to live with someone you're not married to.

4. It makes you lazy. As a married man, I know that once dating ends, the relationship changes. Living together removes the "being your best" part of your relationship. Kind of like most job interviews—you wore the suit to the interview, but once hired, you show up in khakis and a polo. And if you're living with a woman and getting some of the "benefits" of marriage—sex, having someone to help around the house, sharing the bills—you can also get lazy about taking the next step in your relationship.

5. Saving on rent. Mentioned above.

 Related Resources: 

How will you educate your adult children about the dangers of shacking up?

All Pro Dad is Family First's innovative and unique program for every father. Their aim is to interlock the hearts of the fathers with their children and, as a byproduct, the hearts of the children with their dads. At allprodad.com, dads in any stage of fatherhood can find helpful resources to aid in their parenting. Resources include daily emails, blogs, Top 10 lists, articles, printable tools, videos and eBooks. From allprodad.com, fathers can join the highly engaged All Pro Dad social media communities on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

 



Why All Churches Should Address Depression & Anxiety

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Why All Churches Should Address Depression and Anxiety
Awareness must be created among Church members to deal with depression and anxiety (The Express Tribune with the International New York Times) by Jarrid Wilson | jarridwilson.com.

 

It's no secret my past was riddled with mental health issues—ones that kept me from wanting to live for much of my teenage life. I'm very vocal about this truth, and I will continue to be as along as my story may have an impact on others who need to hear it.

And while I do believe today's church is doing better at addressing the issue that is mental health, I believe there can be so much more done than what is currently taking place in regards to depression and anxiety. Let me explain.

I never tried to take my own life in my younger years, but I frequently found myself googling painless ways to commit suicide, and really had no remorse once finding what I was looking for. It was a sad state to hold myself. The reality is that my life was infected with the burden of depression and anxiety, and the only places I could find reliable information from were not churches in my local area.

Why? It's because mental illness wasn't really talked about much.

I felt as if all the "Christian" resources were outdated, and really didn't address the fact that taking medication was okay in the eyes of God. There really wasn't much information at all. It was as if all the answers I was finding were suggesting that I just needed more faith.

Seriously? The last thing someone contemplating suicide wants to hear is, "Just have faith." I understand that Jesus has the power to conquer anything that comes in my way, but please don't throw Christians clichés at me. I wanted real, authentic and practical information, and I assume there are millions in this world who would want the same. It's what Jesus would have done.

I really wanted to find help in the church, but there were no ministries or non-profits working within the walls of local congregations that I could reach. All the counseling and help I received came years after I actually needed it, and it was found in the secrecy of a local medical facility, not a church—where it should have been all along.

Mind you, the church has come a long way since my teen years in regards to helping those with mental illness, but I believe we can still do a lot more.

Some Statistics
1. It is reported that 1 in 10 Americans are affected by depression. 
2. Over 80 percent of people who are clinically depressed are not receiving treatment. 
3. The number of people diagnosed with depression increases by 30 percent every year. 
4. An estimated 121 million people around the world suffer from depression. 
5. In 2013 41,149 suicides were reported, making suicide the 10th leading cause of death for Americans.
6. In 2013, someone died by suicide every 12.8 minutes.

 

We Need The Church

"Cast all your care on Him, because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7, MEV).

Here's the thing. I understand that there is importance to seeing what many would call a "professional" in the field of mental health issues, but this doesn't mean that the local church shouldn't be prioritizing leadership roles and ministry efforts to help those who deal with these issues. I understand that not all churches lack in this area, but I bet there are more who do than don't.

My wife and I have met with and counseled dozens of young people over the past year. All shared with us the brutal battle that is taking place within their souls. Suicide attempts, cutting, depression, and anxiety are just the beginning of what these young people were facing.

We NEED the church to step up in its efforts to be more vocal in regards to mental illness. Whether that is through a sermon series, free resources, creating non-profits or even a cultivating a designated year-long ministry. Regardless, the church should be on the front lines of this battle. People need a safe place where they can be honest and transparent with what they are going through.

There is nothing wrong with admitting you are depressed, cutting, have attempted suicide or are even contemplating it. There is nothing wrong with seeking medical attention and being prescribed medication to help you along the journey. And, there is nothing wrong with admitting you need help. 

A Few Resources

1. Heart Support.

2. My Broken Palace. 

3. To Write Love On Her Arms.

4. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety or has even thought of suicide, please give them the resources above and do not wait another minute.

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad to Finch, pastor, author, blogger, and founder of Cause Roast. He's helping people live a better story. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



Living the Christian Life

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Living the Christian Life

It's all About Following Jesus (ECWA Archive)

What does the Bible say about how to live the Christian life?

How to live the Christian life is a topic that is discussed in many Bible passages. One of the most notable discourses was between Jesus and Nicodemus. Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish council, went to Jesus during the night to discover how to live the Christian life. Jesus explains to Nicodemus that he must be born again: "…I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again" (John 3:3). Salvation is the beginning step in living a Christian life. In John 14:6, Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Jesus encourages all believers to grow in relationship, commitment, and obedience to Him. This is the essence of how to live a Christian life. Our relationship, commitment, and obedience are done out of love, not constraint. John 14:21 says, "Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."

Living the Christian life is not abiding by an agenda or following a set of strict rules. Instead, the Christian life is characterized by:

  • Understanding that you are a new creation! 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
  • Transforming and renewing your mind. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will."
  • Treating others with love. Philippians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
  • Living out the teachings of Christ. Jesus taught: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3-10).
  • Sharing your faith. Matthew 5:14-16 says, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Living the Christian life does not mean enjoying a life of ease and never experiencing problems. 1 Peter 5:8 says that there is an enemy who wishes to destroy us: "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." But we also read that Jesus has overcome the world!

No matter what opposition you face, living the Christian life is worth it! Enjoying a relationship with God and His Son Jesus, being confident of where you will spend eternity, and living in day-to-day fellowship with Him is far greater than any opposition you may face.

What is your response? For the Original article, visit All About God, PO Box 507, Peyton, Colorado 80831, AllAboutGOD.com
 


Help Children Deal with Fear

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Help Children Deal with Fear

It's our job as parents and guildiance to help our Children deal with fear whatever it may be (forchild.org.ua)

Tragedy is all around us. It’s on the news every night — and all throughout the day. We talk about it at the dinner table. And, as fun and engaging as it can be, we can thank social media for keeping us constantly informed of all the bad things happening in our world.

Evil is rampant — and, because of this – fear is rampant.

And, it doesn’t impact only us.

Our children are not immune from fear. In an Information Age — they know what we know, filtered, of course, with their childlike mind.

Violence even happens in school — in malls — in churches — places children go regularly.

Childhood can be a scary time of life naturally, but especially these days. We should never diminish a child’s fear or the impact the news of the day is having on them. It may be totally irrational fear – something you know is completely impossible — but it’s very real to them.

How does a parent or teacher address this fear?

Here are 7 suggestions to help children deal with fear:

1. Don’t assume their thoughts

Don’t assume just because your child doesn’t mention what happened they don’t know about it or care. Fear is a normal reaction, especially for a child. Watch for unusual behavior. Be aware of mood changes or extreme sadness. Make sure they know it’s okay to talk about it and there is no shame or disappointment from you when they are fearful. Maybe tell them of a time you were afraid — even a recent time.

2. Limit their exposure

You’re curious, so the television may be on news stations. What are they covering right now? Remember children process information different from how you do. They may not appear to be watching, but they probably are more than you think. Fill their minds with things to encourage them not perpetuate the fear. This is a time to turn off the television and simply play with your kids. They’ll get no better assurance than their time with you.

3. Ask them questions

You may think children are afraid of one thing, but it is something completely different. Many times children, especially young children, are simply confused or have misinformation. You can better address the fear if you know its roots. Getting them to talk about what they are afraid of can help them learn to better rationalize and seek comfort and assurance from you.

4. Assure them they are safe

Let children know they are safe. Don’t lie to them or give them false assurance, but remember the chances of the same thing happening to them is rare — very rare. Remind them you will do anything to protect them. Show them ways you’ve already provided for their safety. Let them help you lock the doors at night. You may need to help them process for weeks to come. Don’t rush them to “get over it”. Pray for and with them often.

5. Live a normal life as much as possible

As much as possible, live a normal weekly schedule. Their routine is part of their “security blanket.” Don’t allow their fear to cripple them or the family for long. In spite of our fears, we have to move forward.

6. Be calm around them

Especially during this stressful time, don’t let your children see you in panic. Watch what you say in front of them. Discuss the world events – and especially your fears of them – outside of their listening ears. Let the home be their “safe place”. Parents shouldn’t fight in front of kids anytime, but especially during a time of uncertainty like this. Renew your faith. Renew your commitment to each other. Children often get their faith through parents.

7. Read them Scripture

Children need something they can cling to as permanent and dependable. What better place than the Word of God, which will never fade? Recite Psalm 56:3 to them. If they are old enough, write it down somewhere they can see it often. Memorize some verses of strength and share with them often. Help them memorize some. (When our boys were young we played Scripture music appropriate for their age. Steve Green’s “Hide ’em in Your Heart series was great for this. You can find them online.)

Ron Edmondson is the senior pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky. For the original article, visit ronedmondson.com.

 



Words of Wisdom: In-laws of Newly Married Couples

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Words of Wisdom- In-laws of Newly Married Couples

How do you get along with your son- or daughter-in-law? (ECWA Archive)

I often teach and write about the experiences that I have working with relationships. Personal experience is often some of the best information I have to protect and help other relationships.

In helping marriages, I often try to share some of the barriers that I have seen to having a good marriage. My theory is that if couples are aware of the barriers before they become an issue it’s much easier to deal with them when they arise.

One of the consistent barriers I have seen in having a strong marriage is the way the couple deals with outside influences. It could be friends, family, work, or hobbies. It’s mostly people.

One of those primary outside influences that many couples struggle with is dealing with in-laws.

And, the in-laws who are causing a problem are now rejecting this post.

The crazy thing about this issue is that I once talked about the issue but now I live the issue. So I realize I am on shaky ground by speaking to a subject I haven’t yet mastered. We have been in-laws now for a couple of years and it is still relatively new for us. But now at least I see both sides of the issue. Cheryl and I are trying to be good in-laws by learning from other people’s experiences we have encountered in ministry.

I’m speaking primarily in this post about parental in-laws, but these will also apply to other relatives of couples. This type post gets me in trouble. It’s a sensitive issue. Keep in mind this is an opinion blog. And this is an opinion post. But these are gained through years of experience working with young couples. Apply as necessary.

Here’s some of my best advice for in-laws:

Remember “leave and cleave”.  It’s Biblical. Two people are trying to become one. That’s the goal. That means the two can’t be part of another unit in the same way. Yes, they are still family, but they are creating something new. Their new will likely look different from yours — hopefully even better. No doubt you will have influenced who they are as a couple. That may be in good and bad ways. Let them as a couple determine what they keep of your influence and what they leave behind. Again, they are still part of you. But, in the formulation of a new “them” they have to leave some things behind.

Know this: Everything you say to your child impacts their spouse. One way or another. And, it will likely either be repeated and injure your relationship with their spouse or cause a hidden wedge in their relationship. You can’t expect them to become one if you have a private world of communication with your child. And if they are trying to be a good husband or wife they will not keep secrets from their spouse. Yes, you should always be a safe place for your child. And there may be times where it is necessary for them to come to you in secret. But those should be rare. Very rare in my opinion. You can help them reduce friction in their marriage by not contributing to or promoting private conversations.

They sense the pressure to “come see you”. Chances are they have pressure elsewhere too. Maybe even from other in-laws. How welcoming is it if you spend most your time talking to them complaining how little you see them? Yes, it’s hard when they don’t seem to want to — or you feel slighted in the amount of attention you receive — but guilt and complaining won’t accomplish what you’re attempting. It might even get them there, but it won’t promote quality time with them.  And, it will often build resentment.

Get rid of the phrase “What you should do is”. It isn’t helpful because it’s usually received with an immediate pushback. They are trying to form their own identity as a family. Hopefully they will solicit your input at times but don’t offer it unless you’re asked.

Offer advice only if you’re asked. I thought this one merited repeating. Again, it’s not that you don’t have for good advice. And they would probably be better off if they listened to your advice more often. Most likely you have experience they don’t yet have. But most young couples want to discover things on their own just as you possibly did when you were younger. Unsolicited advice is almost never seen as valuable as solicited advice.

Be a fun place to hang out. All young couples need to see healthy people and healthy relationships. Marriage is hard without any outside influences. So the more healthy and environment you can create for them the more often they will want to be a part of that environment.

Love them unconditionally. I would say equally, but that’s hard — isn’t it? You’re going to naturally lean towards favoring your own child, especially when there is friction or conflict in the relationship. Be patient with them. Give grace generously. Hold you’re tongue when you’re tempted to say something that could be hurtful. Forgive quickly when needed. Remember, you are supposed to be the maturer people in this season of life.

The point of this post — and this blog — is to help. I’m not trying to stir more frustration. Other blogs do that well. :). Seriously, my aim is to address issues I see often and help us learn from other people’s experiences. I realize this is a hard season for many parents. But, with careful intentionality it can be a great season.

Remember, we are new at this.

Ron Edmondson is the senior pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Lexington, Kentucky. For the original article, visit ronedmondson.com.

 



Making your Marriage Last

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Making your Marriage Last

This is one of the main reasons that couples divorce. (Alan Lambert – Getty Images)

I have been married 20 years but I still find that successful communication is the No. 1 challenge in my relationship. And I know I am not alone. Communication issues are the top reason most marriages fail. Thankfully, I have learned one thing over the years that has helped me overcome this: respect.

When I approach my husband Chad respectfully, my chances of him listening and responding are far greater than if I approach him harshly or aggressively.

For most of our marriage, my husband Chad has had no desire to take out the trash. It could be packed tight, overflowing, and causing a seriously foul smell throughout our home, and he still wouldn't think about taking it out. That drives me crazy! I know he isn't lazy; in fact, he is one of the hardest workers I know. What makes me crazy is that I feel he takes me for granted because he knows that I have all the home chores covered.

Here are two ways that I could deal with this:

A. I could communicate what I desire to have done by asking him respectfully "Honey, can you please take out the trash?"

OR

B. I could express my frustration to him with my finger pointed by disrespectfully saying, "You never do anything, the trash smells like a dead pig! When do you plan on taking that out?"

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov. 15:1).

"He who guards his mouth preserves his life" (Prov. 13:3).

As a woman of God, I know that I am called to respect my husband. Unique to each spouse is a set of things they need. One of Chad's top three needs is "respect." If I want him to meet my needs, I must first try to meet his needs, even if he is not doing something the way I think he should.

It is pretty obvious that Option A would be the best way to handle this situation, but showing Chad respect is not always easy for me. I really struggle with showing him respect when I am frustrated. Truthfully there are many times that I want to go "cuckoo" on him and use Option B (and sadly, I have). However, it never works out well! By using Option B, maybe the trash will get taken out, but the whole day would be ruined because of our anger and fighting. Division would come between us, and what could have been a good day would become filled with chaos.

Unfortunately, I have caused one too many "bad days" by not choosing to honor the Lord by respecting my husband. Taking the approach of choosing to honor the Lord is exactly how I started to make the appropriate changes in my attitude. Ephesians 5 teaches us to respect our husbands. That verse doesn't say to respect him only when he deserves it. Instead, God's Word teaches us to respect our husbands all of the time. It was with this new revelation in mind that I was able to begin making the choice to respect Chad in all areas of our marriage, but especially with my words.

I was convicted by these verses in the Bible:

"It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman" (Prov. 21:19).

"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house" (Prov. 21:9).

I never want to be that kind of wife again. How shameful it would be if I were still that type of wife?

"But let it be the hidden nature of the heart, that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (1 Peter 3:4).

I made the decision that this is the wife I wanted to be!

This is an example of true beauty. This is the depiction of the virtuous woman that God created me to be. This is the woman who will lay pride aside to willfully meet her husband's needs. Ultimately, this healthy attitude will lead to joy in a marriage that revolves around peace and unity.

After reading the above statement, I'm sure you're asking, "That all sounds wonderful, but if we are so focused on our spouse's needs, then what about our own needs?" Notice what I said above: "the woman who will lay pride aside to willfully meet her husband's needs finds joy in a marriage of peace and unity."

There is no question that I still desire to have my needs met, but constantly challenging my husband to meet those needs is selfish on my part, and my efforts always fail. Through true servanthood to one another, when I strive to meet his needs and he strives to meet mine, we find ourselves in the marriage we both desire. I have heard it said that you have to meet halfway … I no longer believe this to be true. I'm willing to go all the way!

Even if Chad only goes 30 percent, then we will be fine, because there will be other days when he will give 100 percent and I will fall short. You don't have to be a statistician, just understand that when you are both "all in" and can take your eyes off your own needs and focus on your spouse's needs, you will be most fulfilled.

From Marriage Advance by Chad and Kathy Robichaux, a book helping couples strengthen their marriages in times great adversity and advancing toward the ultimate success God had in mind when you said, "I do."

Kathy Robichaux is the director of women's programs for the Mighty Oaks Foundation. She has a strong connection with women and wives struggling with the pain and heartache in the wake of PTSD. With vast amount of personal experiences, she speaks publicly as a wife and mother who fought the war with the symptoms in her husband and came out the other side with a restored marriage and an even stronger faith. Kathy and Chad have been married for 20 years and have three teenage children: Hunter, Haili and Hayden.

 



How to Be a Christian in a Public School

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How to Be a Christian in a Public School

Being a Christian in a public school can be quite a task. (Flickr)

No matter if you are a student in high school or a junior in college, the pressure of being a Christian in a public school setting seems to be talked about pretty often. The reality is, you don't need to worry. There will be trials, but God has you covered.

Here are some things that will help you on your journey of being a Christian in a public school:

1. Remove any thought of being "better" than your peers. You're human. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has flaws. Don't allow yourself to believe the lie that you are better than others because of your faith. Instead, humble yourself before those you come in contact with and make sure to be a living example of humility and grace.

2. Allow God to guide your words, actions and steps. Don't try to do things on your own. Allow God to guide every step of your schooling career, and this includes on and off campus. If you're going to claim to be a Christian, please make sure that you are truly surrendering to divine direction. Don't make Jesus look like a fool because of your own personal decisions. Walk in truth, extend grace and put the needs of others before yourself.

3. Don't silo yourself. You don't have to spend your time in the corner of the gym singing "God's not dead. He's surely alive!" in order to be a Christian in a public school.

Not to mention you'll probably never find yourself in a situation that most Christian movies portray public schools to be like. You need to make a priority of removing yourself from anything that will silo you from others, and instead allow yourself to embrace and welcome the lives of others into your personal life. Be known as someone who is approachable, not cold and distant.

Also remember that there is nothing wrong with spending time with unbelievers, as long as these people aren't directly influencing you in a negative manner. I'd actually encourage you to have some friends who don't necessarily see eye-to-eye with everything you believe. Why? It's because it's good for your soul. Back to my previous statement … be approachable.

You've Got This

Don't stress about being a Christian in a public school. There's no need to worry. Stand true to your beliefs, but be compassionate to those who don't see eye to eye with you. Kill them with kindness, and this includes any of your teachers. You've got this.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband, pastor and author relentlessly sharing the love of Jesus. For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

 



Who Wouldn’t Want to Live Here?

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Who Wouldn't Want to Live Here?

Wouldn't you want to live there (Paradise Road – edequity.org)

Peace: a wonderful place to live, isn't it?

The gift of peace, and the choice to remain in that place of peace, provides comfort and valuable resources almost too precious to express.

Who wouldn't want to live in a place of peace? It's almost like saying, "Who wouldn't want to visit Hawaii?"

When the cares and concerns of life loom menacingly on the dark horizon like a growing and fierce storm, peace is heaven's gift to a troubled and fretful soul.

God gently offers, in that moment of unsettled emotions and of fearful anxiety, "Wouldn't you like to go to a place of peace with Me?"

I realized recently, while I was traveling and observing the expressions of various and rushing travelers that not many people choose to live in a place of peace. Most people frantically react to life and then traverse from the Land of Frustration to the Isle of Impatience with a quick side trip to Angry Mount and back again.

Who wants to live in a place of volcanic upheaval and uncontrollable tempest? Peace sounds like a much more … well … "peaceful" destination to me!

So … if peace is uncommonly valuable and even utterly desirable, then why is peace so elusive and difficult to capture? Why does peace seem to flit in and out of our lives with not much actuality and very little tenacity?

I have come to believe that peace, although not tangible, is certainly substantial; and that true peace, although invisible, is a strong determinant in reaching one's destination.

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." (Isaiah 26:3).

Peace is a result of trusting a loving Father who knows best and who loves the most. Peace comes rushing in when a believer decides to believe.

Peace is delivered in that infamous, "Aha!" moment of life. When you finally realize that you serve a God who is an expert at working all things together for good and that you are the beneficiary of His incredible competence.

Peace! There it is!! I see it now!

Peace is a gift that is bestowed upon those who know of no other way to live than to take up permanent residence in His joyful and comforting presence.

It is humanly impossible to stir up peace … to beg for peace … to buy peace … or to mimic peace. 

Peace is found along the road marked "Trust" and you will find that it is a sure and delightful destination.

No matter what you are going through today … be certain of this … peace is just one trusting choice away.

Take your eyes off your circumstances … remove your heart from boiling emotions … and begin to sing a melody of the resilient soul,

"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! 

Oh for grace to trust Him more!"

Now sing it again. And again.

Sing it while the storm is raging and when the wind is roaring.

Sing it internally when voices are yelling and anger is unleashed around you.

Are you there yet? Have you reached the place of peace?

"You are my hiding place; You will preserve me from trouble; You will surround me with shouts  of deliverance!" (Psalm 32:7).

Carol McLeod is an author and popular speaker at women's conferences and retreats, where she teaches the Word of God with great joy and enthusiasm. Carol encourages and empowers women with passionate and practical, biblical messages mixed with her own special brand of hope and humor. She has written five books: No More Ordinary, Holy Estrogen!, The Rooms of a Woman's Heart and Defiant Joy! Her most recent book, Refined: Finding Joy in the Midst of the Fire, was released on Aug. 1. Her teaching DVD The Rooms of a Woman's Heart won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award for excellence in religious programming.

 



When You Don’t Win

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When You Don't Win (Reuters)

Like in life. It's not realistic to expect to get what you want all the time (Reuters)

Ahhhhh, cake walks. The anticipation of maybe, just maybe, hearing your number called and getting to choose the cake of your dreams.

I actually remember one particular cake walk from sometime when I was in elementary school. I won! I walked over to the table and chose the cake I had had my eye on all night: a sheet cake decorated in myriad colors with the word "Mexico" and all kinds of squiggles and designs. That. cake. was. beautiful!

Recently, my children participated in a cake walk at a party. Timmy became discouraged the first few times he didn't hear his number called, so I picked him up and walked around with him. I held him for several rounds, and as time went by, and most of the other kids won cakes, Timmy began quietly fussing (read: whining). I reminded him that it's not possible to win all the time and reassured him that he still had a chance.

And then … victory on number 19!

By this point, Timmy was hanging his head and fussing continuously. "You won, Timmy!" I exclaimed. He continued to whine. "Timmy, you won!" I repeated. More whining.

I began to walk away from the game, toward the prize table, because I was embarrassed. Did he not understand that he had won? What was the problem?

"Timmy, why are you fussing?" I asked quietly. "You won!"

"I wanted to win lots of times," Timmy said, disappointed.

My first thought was: Be grateful you won at all!

My second thought was: Yeah, I understand, buddy. I hate it when I don't win as often as I'd like.

Like in life. I know it's not realistic to expect to get what I want all the time. But I'd like to. And sometimes, when I don't, I get disappointed.

Here are some recent times I can remember not getting what I wanted:

  • My child embarrassed me in public.
  • I tried to learn a particular skill, and it didn't turn out well at all.
  • I didn't receive an invitation I was hoping for.
  • Someone assumed the worst about my character.

These are not the only unpleasant things I've faced in the past few weeks; there have also been some that were traumatic.

But in the same time period, I've also encountered these circumstances:

  • My child spent time drawing a sweet picture for me and telling me how much she loved me.
  • I received a compliment from a student who enjoys my teaching style.
  • I was invited to have lunch with a friend.
  • Several family members went out of their way to verbally affirm their confidence in my character and their love for me.

So, I have a choice. I can complain that I had to face the first set of circumstances, or I can rejoice that I experienced the second.

It's the same choice you have when you're disappointed.

Grieve if you need to; it's OK!

But don't forget the good things.

Job 1:21 says, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (KJV).

Adapted from Megan Breedlove's blog, Manna for Moms. Megan is the author of Well Done, Good and Faithful Mommy and Manna for Moms: God's Provision for Your Hair-Raising, Miracle-Filled Mothering Adventure (Regal Books.) She is also a stay-at-home mom with 5 children.



Men & Pastors: Attend Lions Roar 2015 (Nov 4-6 2015) Dallas TX

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Men & Pastors - Attend Lions Roar 2015 (Nov 4-6 2015) Dallas TX
You can either preach sermons to them, or disciple strong, committed men who will stand squarely behind you.
Men will sit in the back or have your back! Your choice.
 
JOIN the private PASTORS ROUNDTABLE: full-access, personal dialogue with global leaders on core issues facing pastors today. The pulpit is the place for courage. 2 Sam 10: "Let us fight bravely for our people."

Leadership Track / $139

Build Strong Men and Families

Refuse all copycat methods and invest three days to hear what God wants from your manhood. Rub shoulders with some of the greatest men and leaders on the planet today. Imbibe the message, the spirit, the camaraderie, the life! Come away invigorated, committed, changed! Includes VIP Green Room Access, because there are no green rooms, no backrooms at Lions Roar. Every delegate is a VIP!

  • Included in basic registration, and includes conference syllabus
  • You may join the other special sessions and add the Three Meal Deal at the point of registration
Contact
P.O. Box 93478
Southlake, TX 76092 USA
 817-437-4888
 office@christianmensnetwork.com

Proven results that have increased church growth, finances and volunteers by 20% in one year. Check it out! Equip your men’s leader and key men to set the stage for a strong, upward curve in 2016!

We have prepared four powerful sermons specifically for men that you can carve up for your own use.
Link to original registration site: Time for godly men to stand up and stand together!
 


Five Ways Fasting Can Change Your Life

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Five Ways Fasting Can Change Your Life

You have the choice to change your life by a simple decision. It is fully within your ability to make this choice, and absolutely within God’s power to give you the strength for the sacrifice. Fasting and prayer, if faithfully done, will alter your existence, rock your spiritual world and bring your life on this earth into “God’s” perspective. We know because it is doing that for us. You can’t argue with personal experience; it is fact and it is incredibly exciting.

Wendy Simpson Little and I answered a call from God to enter into a relationship of weekly fasting and prayer. We followed a routine of one day a week, from after Monday night dinner to before Tuesday night dinner. We felt led to fast from food, but you may be led to fast other things. How much time do you spend on social media? If given the choice to run to God or grab the remote, which would you choose? Don’t worry, only you and God need to know the answer.

Naiveté would be one way of putting it in regards to our leap into this spiritual discipline. We thought the simple equation of Prayer + Fasting = Quick Fix Answers was what we should expect. Little did we know that our heavenly Father would choose first to carefully address the areas in our life that needed fixing, confession and repentance.? What a gracious God He is to only want the best for us—transformation that likens us to his Son. Thankfully, He continues to refine and replace those sinful and broken places with His faithful forgiveness and invaluable instruction. The outcome? We will continue to fast and pray, to live it out as our lifestyle, until God takes us home. Why? Once you come this close to God, you don’t retreat.

Let’s talk about five of the things that can change our lives when we fast and pray:

1. Fasting and prayer can help us hear from God. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3, NIV).

For those of you who truly know Jesus, how could you ever resist that appeal? You have been invited to “call” to Him in prayer. His Word says that He will tell us things we don’t know, which is very helpful in point No. 2! If you want deeper intimacy with God then we highly recommend you enter into a sacrificial space in time where you seek Him like never before.

2. Fasting and prayer can reveal our hidden sin. “My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes” (Jeremiah 16:17, NIV).

God can see our sins like a flashing neon sign. Nothing is hidden from His sight. We have found that frequently the harder sins to acknowledge are the hidden ones, especially when they involve our motives and attitudes.

When we fast and pray, we are taking time away from a meal or an activity to devote our entire being to focus on God. We find we are more sensitive to the voice of God, more attuned to hearing what He has to reveal to us. Gently, God whispers in our mind what we were really thinking at the time of our sin, what our true intent was and we are shocked … momentarily. Then like a light turned on in a pitch black room, we see it. We did mean harm. We were manipulative. Even though our recognition makes us want to hide our face, our loving Savior lifts our chin to look into his forgiving eyes. As we repent, we no longer want to hide, but to praise and worship the very one who confronted our wrong.

3. Fasting and prayer can strengthen intimacy with God. “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV).

As you remain consistent in prayer and fasting, over time, you will crave more quiet time alone with your heavenly Father. Psalms 42:1 says, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God”. The more you know of God, the more you want. Fasting and prayer is a great catalyst to create an insatiable hunger for God’s presence and you will enter into a place of deep intimacy with our Lord.

4. Fasting and prayer can teach us to pray with right motives. “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” (James 4:3, NIV). The more you focus on your prayer time, pressing in with heightened sensitivity through the sacrifice of fasting, your will aligns with God.

No longer are you praying with wrong motives, but are petitioning the Lord with a heart of worship, gratitude and an outward vision that cares for the needs of others. 1 John 5:14–15 tell us that we can have confidence then as we approach God, knowing “that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him (NIV). This is great news!

5. Fasting and prayer can build our faith. “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6, NIV). God says He will answer our prayer. As we fasted He has bolstered our faith by answering incredible requests with many a yes. He has also built our faith by helping us trust when He says no. Whatever the answer, we have learned that we can believe God knows best. Our reward is the peace that comes from being fully surrendered to God’s control over our lives.

We have come to know God like never before. His grace amazes us that He would call us into this sacrificial relationship where we gain infinitely more than we give up. God has changed our lives through prayer and fasting—are you ready for Him to change yours?

Suzanne Niles and Wendy Little are authors of the newly released book Fast Friends (Broadstreet Publishing, October 2015).



What Is It Like to Be a Christian on Everest?

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What Is It Like to Be a Christian on Everest

The north face of Mount Everest (Wikimedia Commons)

I have had a life-long interest in Everest—starting at an elementary school assembly in a tiny South Dakota town where I listened fascinated as a mountaineer related tales from the first American ascent of the world's tallest mountain.

Since then, I've read a small library of books on Himalayan climbing. I've also stood on Everest's summit. Naturally, I wanted to see the new movie Everest.

The movie is a reasonably accurate portrayal of climbing. The characters in Everest struggle through some of the most dramatic and terrifying moments of their lives. As Rob Hall talked with his wife while stranded high on the mountain and doomed to die, one sad thought occupied my mind: In the midst of fear, hopelessness, and the uncertainty of life and death, there was no thought of crying out to God.

This was also my experience on Everest. No thought of God seemed to cross the minds of my fellow climbers, despite the stunning beauty of the mountain and the fear caused by extreme conditions. On my three Everest expeditions, I was the solitary believer in Christ, alone with my God in an unbelieving environment. 

What is it like to be a Christian on Everest? I frequently talk with other believers who see my experiences on Everest as something extraordinary. But as a believer, I don't see it that way. What God requires of me on Everest, God requires of every Christian.

Like any other Christian, I want to do what God created me for. The 1996 tragedy dramatized in Everest was a turning point in my life and career. Reading Krakauer's book prompted me to write a film proposal, which landed me at K2 Base Camp in the summer of 1999, where I filmed a series for National Geographic. Three Everest expeditions as a high altitude cameraman for other companies followed.

However, I've never felt that I pursued Everest. Instead, God has opened doors for me to climb. Once on the mountain, I learned something significant.

I am not a hot climber, but I'm comfortable and extremely competent at altitude. I saw that God had made my body for climbing. I adjusted easily to the thin air at altitude. When my oxygen failed an hour below the summit, I was able to continue to the top, film and descend. I did not lose my appetite high on the mountain, as many climbers do. I did not have to train hard to be fit for climbing. Clearly, I was doing what God had created me to do.

Sensing I was in the center of God's will gave me confidence and removed worry and fear. Does this mean it was all fun? Like every other Christian, I still had to persevere, even when doing what God had designed me for. I've eaten more dal bhat than I care to remember. I've missed the luxury of showers and gone months without seeing my family. I've exerted myself to the point of exhaustion.

Climbing the French Spur on Everest's West Ridge, I worked harder than I've ever worked in my life. Isn't this what God wants for each believer? Where are you competent? What are your gifts? What is the mountain that God has for you? Put your heart into it and work for the glory of God.

When I'm climbing, I'm like every other Christian working a secular job, surrounded by those who don't know Christ. My task is to walk the walk no matter where He has put me. Placed among mountaineers, I saw my contribution as one link in the chain Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 3:6, "I have planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase."

At K2 Base Camp, I grieved with climbers after the death of their teammate, killed by rock fall high on the mountain. Though I was a newcomer to their mountaineering circle, they approached me with a request: Would I conduct Mehi's funeral? That was a rare chance to freely share my faith with other climbers.

Usually, the opportunities seemed smaller. Profane speech is the norm in base camp, but high on the mountain, in a tent alone with one other climber, the profanity would be gone. I might not have the chance to actually share the gospel with my friend, but maybe my presence would be the opening of that man's mind where the missing thought of God could enter and bear fruit someday. Though it seemed that no one noticed, some of my mountaineering comrades were watching my life. For what believer working in the world is this not also true?

As followers of Christ, God wants our worship. In 2006, I climbed to a place few people have ever gone. I arrived alone on Everest's snow-covered West Ridge and looked out over mountains that had loomed large in base camp but were now small hills below me.

In that moment my heart was full with the worship of God. I knew my fellow mountaineers would experience the exhilaration of reaching the ridge and the beauty of the view, but that they would not be worshipping God. Only I can return to God the worship that He has put in my heart. That is true for every Christian.

What brings you joy? Where has God put you? Wherever that is, give God the worship that you alone can give. 

David Rasmussen has over 25 years of experience as a cinematographer and director of photography specializing in documentary films. His latest project, Finding Noah, a documentary about an archaeological expedition on Mount Ararat in search of Noah's Ark, will premiere nationwide for a one night only event on Oct. 8. For more information, visit findingnoah.com.